Cinderella's Nightmare

First day.

2012-01-23T23:44:00.001+08:00

A New Beginning.

2012-01-23T22:50:00.001+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

and hereby i officially announce Cinderella's Nightmare a blog mainly discussed about fashion and all the nice things in the world.

ENJOY :D

frustrations.

2012-01-03T23:48:00.002+08:00

i felt an urge to blog late night when indeed i have to wake up at 5 o'clock tomorrow.
parents indeed play an important role in their children's lives. when parents fail to secure family's finance, what the kid will feel? some may turn into the bad track as they would want more money in order to buy what they want. for some it may turn out to be a source of motivation. And from here it reminds me the importance of saving.

For god's sake they can spend the money buying some useless things like toys for their children and not teaching them the value of knowledge and the importance of studying hard. they are buying their children a hopeless future. people may say they are uneducated so they dunno much about these but damn it, they should have learned it with time, what sort of life for being uneducated had brought to them.

and u dare to say that u love them?

i would say if i am one of your kids, i will hate you for this. ya fate is in our hand, but parents are our guide since we were small. when we are off the track, unless by our own power it is hard to turn it right again. In fact, how many people can depend on themselves? they are either weak, or not brave enough.

it's hard to forgive a person for stealing, and i'm trying it . when that particular person is your relative, who you used to trust and have fun with, Or sometimes, the case is : she is your best friend, ya it's harder. i do believe there's a reason behind everything... but when one step is wrong... ya time machine simply doesn't exist, but yea... everyone deserves a second chance. if you think you deserve it, it will be there for you.

life has proved its happenings to me. i'm not a person of a strong will and sometimes i do have a weak grip of life. i made mistakes. but... sometimes it is better to admit your mistakes, so that you will not have to live your life in shades. Treat it as a hidden dirt on your skin, or expose it under the sun for it to fade. it's all your choice.

i know u admit it just for our approval. u want to know whether we believe in you. well, i didn't, maybe in the future if same thing happens, i would suspect that it's you again, but u must stand up, whether u can live with conscience, is all depending on your choice. Please i hope you can take being poor as a motivation, and please do not be so brainless anymore. i t will do you nothing good.

it's a post of my frustration and that night was a tragic night. i should have slept, and everything will be the same.

the ugly truth lies skin deep.

2011 :)

2012-01-01T19:25:00.000+08:00

2011... i can sum it up by using one word :
BOOKS

being in the dreadful fifth form, not by any chance i could escaep from SPM.. and then here begins my life, revolving around books. All kinds of book, reference books, magazines, work books, exercise books and the list goes on. Oh well, if i could kindly forget the nightmare that had brought by SPM, 2011, still was a pretty good year for me.

compared with 2010, 2011 was PLAIN DULL.
we quitted Red Crescent ( forced to T___T ), and the only co-curricular activity i joined was the English Drama Team. Ya they made it till Nationals and they won the champion! I was so proud of you guys... *YOU GUYS, simply because i quitted national, for the sake of my second trial. Well, they had found better members than i did :D

a photo of english drama team! at Pustaka,Miri. State level was held at Samarahan, Kuching. i didn't have a photo of it? *i did attend that! ney, i had the cup some more. LOL

Prefect Camp in the January, well, i was the designer, AGAIN, for god's sake. The proudest creation of mine was the banner. NICE RIGHT? :D

Take a look at the group photo :D

it was at Gua Long. not really enjoying, thanks to the bitchy shortie, JIRMNY.
but i do love the night with all those crazy make overs. HAHA

OH RIGHT WHILE TYPING I RECALLED THAT I LAUGHED WHEN I COMMANDED THE MARCHING TEAM HAHA :D

the beginning of 2011 was kinda fun, except that i got the worst result for the year, but i did have a lot of fun! CNY outing, and not to forget the steamboat buffet :)

this was taken when chun mei visited from kuching! she is a really really nice and funny person, with her loxiao-ness. HAHA :D

and this photo resembled the night after RC appreciation dinner xD

during march holiday, i went to Kota Kinabalu, Sabah. well, the plan of day spent at the resort was spoiled entirely when everyone fell sick, except me and my jie fu ><

alright.... and i began to strive v hard for my studies... I DIDN'T LIKE THE FEELING OF DEFEAT, and i wanted to prove my ability. Ya, i made it in the end. but that got me really stress for all the exams later. forget about it. well... here it comes my june holiday :D i love holiday the most! i can only relax and free myself from books during holidays <3

i had pipi during this holiday :3

pasar malam at Sibu~

we went leo forum at Sibu, Sarawak :D

and it was at Wisma Sanyan, i found pipi a lil brother, PUPU :D

Li Kim was seriously annoyed by them, or to be exact, my habit of talking to them :P

then.... 5S1's last teachers' day celebration, we made it real grand, and it went really good~ PIRATES! ;D i made the ship, amazing huh? :D

this was the tourist spot, where everyone chose to take a photo here on that day XD

and there was another time i flied to Kuching, for the sake of an interview. Chun Mei was responsible for bringing us around, ya she was really really nice! but in fact i was disdained by my ability for not being able to repay her :S

then then, for august holiday, i went Brunei with Alvin and his family.
escapade! and boat ride. at the same time we bought alvin uncle's present hahaha alright the process was fun :P

ya and indeed i love him so much <3

after that..... full blast till SPM. except some of the times we went for movies to relax. i really hate those days

and indeed, after SPM, the real freedom awaits! animes, movies, outings, novels......... everything fun.
and SINGAPORE. i love universal studio!!! :D

maybe other time, i'd come out with a post about my singapore trip. that'd be boring, because my camera's .... well kind of broken, so there weren't a lot of photos.

and the last day of 2011! wheewit, epic fun! i love all of them, my crazy friends <3

a nice ending, and a brand new beginning.
countdown 5 more days, and it's time to say byebye to MIRI, my dear hometown, and my parents.
well.... hopefully KL wouldn' treat me bad.

lastly,
HAPPY NEW YEAR! :D

朋友，最近好吗？

2011-12-13T22:18:00.000+08:00

失去一个好朋友的感觉… 并不好受。
有时，真的很想找回你，想知道你最近怎么了，
和女朋友的感情好吗？
有一点迟了，不过还是希望你考试加油。:)
真的是完全联系不到你啊，哈哈两年多了，
以后和自个儿的朋友会不会也走到这样的一步呢？
明明想联系，却怎么也踏不出主动的那一步。
到最后，想联系却也找不到人了。

那一串号码，我一直都保留着，
只是号码那方的你，不知下落。

…只是突然怀念起那个无话不说的好朋友…
希望你一切都好。

The Oath　行医

2011-12-13T14:00:00.000+08:00

The Oath 行医

昨天正式的看完这部连续剧啦，在此想发表感言。这部连续剧是由谁主演就不多说啦，反正我也不在乎哈哈。先从剧情开始吧，“行医”说的是有关中医（国恩）和西医（敏菲）之间的不同，因而产生的差异和纷争。不过呢，俗话说，“不打不相识”，也就因为这些争执敏菲和国恩也因此走在一起…… 可惜的是，他们的感情路并不好走，后面大家自己慢慢看吧 :)

这部片子的背景围绕着所谓的专业人士，律师，医生，还有老一辈的传统中医师。我真的不得不这样说，新加坡连续剧总是带出真实的人性，剧中的每一个角色都有自己的优缺点，都有善恶两面。人何尝不是如此呢？没有人能够完全的抛弃自己可憎的一面，可是… 只要自己总是崇尚良善，没有人能够动摇你。

举个例子吧，剧中的德伟是个具争议性的角色。（我并不喜欢他医治病人的那一套，可是不能否认他说的是对的，可却也因为这一点，他永远比不上国恩。）男人之间的竞争亦铺陈了整个故事。追求完美的关教授，想要的，是他母亲的认同，是敏菲的爱。他不明白自己是哪一点比不上国恩，身为一个传奇，身为一个零失误的医生，我想观众们都十分清楚吧，他输给国恩的原因—他所做的一切，都是以自己为出发点。他认为一个医生，应该做的就是在医学业上取得更高的成就，而不是去解决病患的问题，做好本分就好了。总是以自我为中心的他，这个性格缺陷让他在接近剧终的时候犯下无可挽回的错误，而且还一错再错。最后，德伟在车祸后不治身亡，结束了他悲剧性的一生。完美主义者，总是活在别人对自己的看法里，他们只想要得到别人的认可，更因为如此，他们更不容许自己犯错。一个错误，就是一个death sentence. 说起来他还真是一个可怜人，被仇恨，妒忌蒙蔽了眼睛，可是他也是个好人，他帮助了芝仪，也是为了敏菲才会犯下错误。看电视的我们，在他不愿为涉嫌器官交易的病人开刀时，在他不愿承认自己的错误时，都十分愤愤不平吧。我们心中都有正义，可要实行正义，我们需要勇气。当我们遇上真正的情况时，你会挺身而出吗？你会无视法律吗？

只有冲动的人，才会去做 :) 而所谓的专业人士，大都是聪明的人，所以，正义沦陷了。

国恩就是标准的热血角色，总是不顾自己的利益，为病患付出。6年前，他为了救一个伤者，放弃了自己的学位，只因为他坚持他所做的事是正确的。他相信自己，在整部剧中，他就是正义的代表。当别人遇上问题时，我们都会希望他的出现能带来一丝转机。他也的确帮助了许多人，可惜，在自己心爱的人面前，他却无能为力。选择性失忆，是最好的安排吗？

敏菲是个尽责的好医生，年轻漂亮，追求者众多，可她偏偏看上喜欢和她吵架的国恩。她喜欢他的理由很简单，却是很多男生都做不到的：喜欢一个人的理由很简单，他需要有一个坚实的肩膀让我依靠，无论发生什么事，他都会在我身边。若是我，有这么一个男生，我也是会喜欢他的吧 :)

写了很多，懒惰继续了，希望大家能好好观赏，从中体会，我可是一个一年内都不曾看完一部连续剧的人哦，可见我有多欣赏“行医”了。XD

不可以忘记，这是我最喜欢的插曲，海枯石烂-olivia ong

我有你放在心上生命就有了重量
風來也不會飄盪
一起看海枯石爛一起等地老天荒
慢慢愛不慌不忙

这几天

2011-12-11T23:41:00.000+08:00

前天呢，和老妈子，妹妹还有外甥出外玩了一整天，吃吃喝喝，玩得很开心。
头发剪了，第二天就拉直。等等就让大家看看哈哈平头妹

昨天，alvin又来在半夜用apple pie攻击睡着的我 -.- 不过，我们谈天谈得很开心，只有在我们独处的时光，才能找回那种他很爱我，而我也很爱他的感觉。只有在那时，我才会很开心。没有外人干扰，只有我和他。哈哈不过每天45点才睡对肝脏一点都不好啊，我可不想得肝癌/肝衰竭。
同样的，也是在昨天，我们一家大小看“行医”。真的是超好看的，让我欲罢不能 XD 可惜啊，新加坡的连续剧总是没有帅哥，不过不打紧，我不是看帅劲的，而是看剧情，和剧情背后所要带出的价值。
今天，依然是在电视机/电脑前度过我的一天。在电脑前，看maid latte；在电视前，看行医。看完了再带出结论吧 :)
还有阿，今天真的是有点小衰。经痛就算了，说好的东西别人又反悔了，真的是坎坷啊。是物极必反的道理吗？越是想省钱，事情就越往别的方向跑。唉~ 真的是很无奈… 只能期待往后的日子，能够越过越好咯 :)

wan ling & aaron lau's birthday celebration :

没啥好说，因为我从头到尾不在状况，但还是希望寿星公寿星婆玩得开心。

过后就在欢喜地吃饭。
然后本小姐就回家了。

会不会觉得我概述的技巧很好呢？就用几句话带出我一天的行程，回到家，又是发呆，再来思考到底自己想做什么该做什么。对了，想学习的菜肴还没列出来，给他的圣诞礼物还在考量中，学费还没交，不过头发应该是过几天就会染了，到时再放出来 :)

你所浪费的今天，是昨天死去的人奢望的明天。你所厌恶的现在，是未来的你回不去的曾经

这句话，说得可真好啊。
现在，又开始变得anti social了，总是觉得别人不了解我的世界，说错了一点话就想干脆不说话好了，跳跃式，无厘头的说话方式也好像没人跟得上。还是一个人好了。:)

19号就要飞去Singapore，要快点安排旅程了。 :)
漂亮的城市 :) 不是马来人主权的国家，我来了，希望可以留下美好回忆。 :)

你知道吗？我有时真的很厌倦，对于你们的不负责任，对你们的出尔反尔。虽然我尝试说服自己，不过… 请原谅我对你们的批判，人，有时，是身不由己的，是有无法办到的事情的。
我能够一一将他们克服的。我必须相信，因为只有在最黑暗的时代，才会有最耀眼的英雄;
只有突破最艰苦的环境，七彩斑斓的蝴蝶才会诞生。

来日英雄再见。

假期计划

2011-12-09T00:50:00.000+08:00

大家晚间好 :) 我倒是很好奇还有谁在跟进这个部落客，应该是没有人吧？XD 毕竟我离开可有好长一段时间，而在瞬息万变的网络里，这短短的几个月就似过了几亿个光年，就得足以让大家把我遗忘。说说近况吧，昨天我才和Mr. SPM正式分手了，非常的正式，虽然没有什么戏剧化的叫喊声，不过解放的感觉，也还是蛮不错的。虽然结尾并不是美丽的，可… 这时才来抱怨，能有何用呢？一切已成定局，只能等待佳音/噩耗的到来。当当当，既然痛苦的17岁即将结束，那么，是时候展望将来 :D 2012年初，我就会离开这个小城市，向外发展了，虽然依旧是在马来西亚境内，可单单想象就可让我热血澎湃 XD 不过呢，在那之前，我还是得好好地规划我的假期…

献上我的近照：

再来看看女鬼版：

说实话为了那个鬼考试，我真的牺牲了很多，电影不去看，妖精之尾和海贼王停追了很久，指甲没空剪，和朋友出去玩都没时间，连头发都不去剪，日日夜夜就是啃书吃书拿书，上厕所吃饭都不离书… 不过觉得考得还是非常差劲 == 全都白做了 -.-

回归正题…
假期计划！
1. 减肥-消灭萝卜腿计划
2. 美白- 想咱这辈子应该和健康的小麦肤色脱不了关系 T____T
3. 多看些英文小说
4. 把握假期多看几部动漫 - 考华语前看完了好想告诉你season1+season2, 还不错啦，男主角是我喜欢的类型，女主角是个标准的迟钝女，所以看到很想扁人，尤其是在第二季的时候。
5. 小动一些对头脑有帮助的书
6. 练习驾车直到能够独当一面为止
7. 换发型，发色，眼镜
8. reformat 这架laptop
9. 收拾衣橱和书本 (doneee~ :D )
10. 制定新加坡旅行计划（省钱的哦~）
11. 制定读书方法：速读，还有读书时的菜单~ 本小姐总算要学习如何能入得厨房了！XD
12. farewell party

就12个吧，这是我的幸运号码，让我好好地实行吧！
还有，希望在我去新加坡之时，那些年，我们一起追的女孩还在上映！
题外话：今天，我已经干掉异梦和功夫… 重读，还是一样热血！！
正义需要高强功夫！*握拳
行医好好看！我不想每天等待啦…
四个门牌一个梦已经完结~
（我开始迷上新加坡电视剧，无奈）

睡觉啦~
来世英雄再见！

P.S 有目标的人生，总是过得特别快活。别让电视剧充溢了你的脑袋，呵呵呵呵~

Ben Tsang - Scar

2011-10-17T21:46:00.000+08:00

sometimes, music tells them all. :)
this is the ending soundtrack for the movie Seven 2 One. i didn't watch the movie, but i overheard this song from TV,then i couldn't stop myself to go on web and search for it.

What is done, has been done.
we can do nothing to change the past.
even if the pain subsided, the scar goes on forever with me.

Did you understand what i'm missing?

appreciate her.

2011-09-11T08:41:00.002+08:00

Boy: I broke up with her.
His Best Friend: What happened?
Boy: She’s just too much for me.
His Best Friend: What makes you say that? What did she do wrong?
Boy: Well, for one.. She only cared about her appearance. Always had to look good, always took forever to get dressed! So insecure..
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she wanted to keep your eyes locked on her? She wanted you to see that you have the prettiest girl under your sleeve and not think otherwise? I see..
Boy: Oh.. Well.. She’d often call me or text me asking where I am, who I’m with, telling me not to smoke, not to drink. She’s so clingy!
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she cares about your well being? Because she cares about you a lot? And her greatest fear is losing you. I see..
Boy: But.. Uhh.. Well, she’d always cry when I say something slightly mean. She can’t handle anything. She’s a crybaby!
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she has feelings? And because she just wanted to hear you say you love her? I see..
Boy: I.. Well! You know, she’d get jealous easily. I could barely talk to other girls! She’s so annoying! I had to hide it from her so she wouldn’t bitch about it.
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she just wanted you to commit to her? She thought you were faithful, but you lied so she could find out later and hurt even more? She just wanted the guy she loves the most to love only her. I see..
Boy: Well, she..
His Best Friend: You broke up with her because she’s good for you? She just wanted the best for you? She’s broken now because you were selfish. Are you proud?
Boy: I broke her heart.. Because I couldn’t see what was happening.. What happened to me?
His Best Friend: You lost the girl that loved you like no one else could. You see? You didn’t want her when all she ever wanted was you. THAT’S what happened.

a wise man never knows everything, only a fool man does.

2011-09-10T21:19:00.001+08:00

hello bloggie, the time of me separated with you this time isn't that long, one week has passed. i have got all my test papers within this week. still, i face disappointment and feel discontentment, but as seen by others, my feelings are much of crapping. i couldn't express it to anyone, not even my closest friends or lover :) and all in a sudden the title of a book popped out in my mind : ' the winner stands alone'. well, i don't see myself as a winner, i'm, indeed, still far beyond my target. anyway, i will go my way towards it. not telling anyone how unsatisfied i felt, or how stressful or tired i could be. in others' eyes, they will answer me like this : "aiya, you always worry this worry that, result also very good." definitely the sentence didn't help at all. i had insomnia one day before biology exam. i struggled to fall asleep, and i failed. my heart was pumping and thumping hard, my leg cramped. my body was shaking. it didn't matter to anyone.... and it really felt like i was at the edge of death. i could never forget how scared i felt that night.. and yet no one was there, and i could tell no one, thinking not to disturb my parents. it's my own battle. i could only handle it myself. that night, i really felt i was hopeless, but well, who cares? :)

SPM is 64 days ahead,i shouldn't really complain about how bad i feel, and instead of it, should continue to excel in whatever i do. make my discontentment a source of motivation. never give up, never hold back, and never back off. it's just... i feel lonely because no one is there. no one listens. and that's not anybody's fault. i'm not strong enough, i'm not tough enough, and i'm not matured enough to think that after all, people come and go, and the only one who will accompany me throughout my life, is myself. no matter how sucks i'm, no matter how fed up i'm with myself, even till the very moment of death, i will still be with her, never be apart - myself. :) too bad, she can never substitute companionship. she can't dispel those solitary moments, but she can tell me to persist in whatever i'm doing, she can remind me, that this would be my only chance, that if i don't grab it, i will live in remorse, and i would never be able to change my fate.

the power of humility. too bad i'm still, lacking of the quality. i do know that biggest dirt spot on me, is that i'm not humble enough. i'm too bombarded with my ability. nevertheless, it is nothing, it is just the tip of an iceberg. only when one stand at the peak of Mount Everest, looking at the panoramic view, she will know how tiny of the role she played in life. only when you look at how massive is the universe, you will realize how naive we have been that we think we have conquered the world. The knowledge i know, is just a drop in the ocean. I should never feel contented, and yet always strive for better. Humility...

Give up the thought that you're better than everyone else, and a whole new world of opportunity opens up to you. Stop seeking unfair advantage, and you're free to develop an unstoppable effectiveness. - Ralph Marston

I'm replaying Regina Spector - Your call and Blink 182 - I Miss You again and again. :)

the long awakening.

2011-08-29T09:12:00.001+08:00

i'm back, but what's the difference? i will be gone again. this is just a place that i come and go. the same things happen to my life. i chose to let go, i chose to hold back, and yet the same cycle comes back again. what goes around comes back around huh? new song from beyonce - best thing i never had,i am sort of liking it :D

and here comes another song that i caught my attention on the way going to school.
Parachute by Cheryl Cole.
i don't need a parachute because even if i fall you're going to catch me. :)

well, trial 1 is officially over, and yet the journey doesn't just stop there, SPM is 77 days away. pfft. seriously time is kicking my ass. thanks to trial 1, i had the chance to know that, i'm only half filled. i'm still not working hard enough. i have to do more,and spend more time to stay committed in studying. indeed i don't think that STUDYING is at utmost importance to me, but i treat it as my responsibility. only if i have done my responsibility so well, i can swift my attention to things i like. :)

i have a dream, i have got plan. i have backup plans, and now all i have to do is seize the day, and live for the moment. when i finally manage to live Cindy's life successfully, then i will go on being Xiindiie. There's meaning behind these names. one, is the life given by my parents, and the other, is the life i want to persist on going towards, and it will be my final goal. i will stay undaunted along the way, because after all, it's not easy to live the way you want to, right? :) so... against all odds. everyone, do not feel remorseful for the things that were done, we can't turn back time. let's face the future, do whatever things u could, so we will never live in regret. :)

i have been struggling to come to a solution. tears and pain... doesn't help u in getting along with the pathway of life. complains, would not make things better. even if i feel regret, no, there's no way i can turn back time. i only can keep on going, and always remember silence is gold. smile, even if there are tears because that's the moment why smile will worth the price. life is imperfect, but it's perfect in its own way.

晴朗无云的天空 :)

2011-06-13T18:46:00.000+08:00

真的应该记录此刻的心情。

假期的最后一天，一口气把one piece追到最新的一辑才甘愿睡觉，12点多，不过没关系，开心就好。谁知道明天收到考卷时好心情会不会被破坏呢？

一张一张的考卷，拿到手上时，虽然不想太嚣张，可是还是笑得见牙不见眼 :3

全部都出乎预料的好！国语也是第一次上了高中后拿A!! ( A- 啦，好过没有 :D)

明天希望biology&history不要让我失望了，那可是我很尽心去读的！

chemistry! 56/60 PAPER 2! essay 36/40.. 满足了满足了！

physics PAPER 1 满分！

华语作文95/100 :D

add maths,续上次70分后，这次拿了91分！开心呵呵 :D

飞了飞了！哈哈！下次还要更加努力！

hard work is the only pathway to success.

真的不枉我闭关一个月！

还有还有，愁云总算散了！

希望，真的能够苦尽甘来。

我必须要更加努力才行。

最近很喜欢阿福的歌哦，很清新，有周杰伦的感觉，是我喜欢的类型，呵呵。

希望大家有一个美好的一天 :)

ladies, found these interesting rules :D

2011-06-12T00:42:00.000+08:00

inspiring quotes.

2011-06-12T00:31:00.000+08:00

pupu, SHOW TIME! :D

2011-06-07T21:02:00.000+08:00

hello everyone, my name is PUPU. i am new to the family. ehehehe. my fur is too long that it covers my eyes! i am not sleeping! AND I AM SERIOUS ABOUT THAT. this is a shot of me in the room of Medan Hotel in Sibu. :D

and this is Pipi with meee :D She is older than me. hehehehe :D i am sleepy :OOO again. xD

Now, i safely arrive in Miri! :D gonna stay with mummy and pipi for a few days more then i will go to daddy's house. hehe. hope he will take care of me like mummy do! :D

I am from Wisma Sanyan, Sibu. ^^

Pupu is here to say Hi. :D

i love my daddy, mummy and also pipi ^^

Nice guys do not finish last.

2011-06-02T10:10:00.002+08:00

kevjumba's version :D

nigahiga's version.

Nice guys finish last,
That's why I'll treat you like trash,
It's not what I really wanna do.
But, you only date bad guys so,
I'll give it my best try to,
Treat you the way you want me to.

I never open a door,
or pull out a chair.
You can tell me how your day was
but I don't really care.
And if you ever get cold,
you'll just have to hack it,
Cause I'd be cold too
If I gave you my jacket.
Like WHOA, you ain't sittin up front,
Front is for the homies you can sit in the trunk.
I never answer my phone,
Whenever you call it
And when the waiter brings the bill
I never reach for my wallet.

CHORUS

And Ima BEAT you!
At every competition.
Going out with the girls
You better get my permission.
Wait no, i take that back, you can't go,
House is on tonight
And that's my favorite show!
Do I look fat in this dress?
Hell yeah you do!
Wait lemme speak your language
Cows go Moo!
Mooo Moooo Mooo MOOOO!

CHORUS

But behind the scenes she means the world to me.
Wanna tell her that she's beautiful, and show her that she's loved.
Hold her hand when she's scared, tell her how much I care...
But that won't win her heart BECAUSE....

Nice guys finish last...

Well, It's not true for me. Haha. I love my nice guy :D If you ever treat me bad, pheww i will dump you like trash :P

Here the saying goes : "every girl loves bad guy."

I bet it isn't true. well girls, don't you want your boyfriend to be gentle to you?

Don't you want him to care about you,don't you want him to tell you you're beautiful... and,

don't you wanna be with someone who love you more than they love themselves?

Recently smoking has been a topic in my family.

Bad guys number 1 identity : Smoking.

You may say that smoking is your choice? i would ask you to THINK again.

think about the second-hand smoke, you may like to destroy your health, but please give a fucking care to the people around you, if you love them, stop smoking. Won't you feel pain if you see your loved ones smoke? or when they fall sick? If you love the people around you, or if you love a good girl, give up for her. If you have a girl friend who loves you much, then you are a damn lucky bastard. She gives in, and you shall sacrifice something for her too, for example : smoking. It doesn't make you look stylish, it won't make you look attractive, and it would neither make you smart nor successful. If you do not want to quit smoking, finee, let cigarettes continue to fuck up with your life. One day, your girl may leave you, because she can't bear the pain anymore. She doesn't want to get hurt again, since you are addicted to nicotine than her, leaving, would be a better solution. Do it for her if you love her.

Girls, you love bad guys?

Do you love alcoholics? Do you want to be a victim of domestic abuse? Do you think smoking is sexy? Do you not want him to care for you? Do you need him to be a failure?

Think again.

Nice guys, don't finish last. :)

meet pipi :D

2011-06-02T10:00:00.001+08:00

Greetings everyone!

It's Pipi here! Here to proudly announce my arrival at Xiindiie's house on 31st of May,2011. I am pink and I love food! :D I love my daddy and mummy too. I MISS MY DADDY! He didn't even have much time to spend with me. :( Luckily, mummy is always here with me, bringing me everywhere :D i heard that daddy is going on vacation at Kota Kinabalu! HERH, leave me alone, i will follow mummy to Sibu too! Stay tune! :D and byee i go, to explore more parts of the house, ehehe.

woof woof :D

*runs away :)

picture of Pipi typing in front moi laptop :D cute her HEHE <3

it's more than words.

2011-05-30T23:40:00.002+08:00

大家晚上好！过了5个星期，我总算回来了，应该很多人都把我忘了吧？哈哈！最近就算心情不好也没多少时间上来发泄，所以就减少让别人看到我ｅｍｏ一面的机会咯。哈哈！生活呢，平平淡淡，而我发白日梦的次数也多了很多。哈哈哈！喝冷水照样牙痛，现在还多了腰痛，真的是人老了就不行啊　（amoiii 你才17岁!）

考试总算结束了，在考试前，就很kiasu，死命读书；考试时，就每天想考试后的日子；考完试后，就什么都不做，名副其实的饱食终日。最喜欢去的戏院，搬到几十里远，要去也要半个小时；经常去逛的百盛，现百鬼夜行，也没多少个人敢去；现在只有肥肥的侄子，pps和facebook伴我左右，人生啊人生。

话说假期有很多很多的计划，却都太懒惰去实行，大家都说SPM考生没多少时间可浪费，可是我不管我不管，付出全力后，就是休息时间咯，休息是为了走更长远的路吧！：Ｄ　前几天一直在思考某些问题，可是到要写出来时，却什么都忘了，我真的有alzheimer's！

今天去做了facial，然后就回家看妖精之尾。非常震撼阿！我喜欢动漫的原因就是因为他们总是为我灰暗的人生带来希望和光芒 :D 我虽然并不是像路飞还是纳智般可以带给别人勇气，可是我会勇敢地走我自己的路，过我想过的生活！:D 虽然如此说着，现实中还是有许许多多的不平是我不能克服的，许许多多的挫折，迫使我低头，让我屈服…　可是！人生中最厉害的就是这个“可是”！

只要我们一直信仰希望, 奇迹就会出现。

幽默就是即使生活让你哭，你也有笑的兴致。你一定要在心中种下“想改变”这颗种子，你才能付诸行动，我们不能永远都局限在一个框框里。是的，没有人是完美的，可是，我们都不该放弃不断地追求完美，无论如何，都要不停地努力，不间断地向前。不论前方的路，是否充满荆棘。

“改变”，真的是一个很好的口号，我们不得不承认。生活的一成不变，无法改变现状的无助…都成为改变的动力，只是，看你愿不愿意踏出第一步。我为了梦想而改变，我为了家庭，我必须肩负这个责任。我相信，许多人的背上，都肩负着使命。请，不要丢弃它；请，不要忽视它。你可能不知道，你的家庭需要你；你可能不知道，你能做的，还有很多。

不要放弃，因为你不知道你咬牙努力的成果，对你的父母有多么重要。
请不要自私的，只看见自己的利益。
想想是谁养育你，不辞劳苦送你去补习，满足你想要的…

至我亲爱的父母，现在的我，或许无能为力，不过，我会保障你们以后的生活。我会努力。谢谢你们一直以来的支持，我绝不会让你们失望。:)绝不会再次。他们做不到，我会做到的。这是我的承诺。

SPM, I will conquer you. and i will step out of the shadows, to see the light again, at the tunnel's end.

2011-04-22T14:25:00.002+08:00

心情超级不好。
想了很多。
我不想一辈子都只是这个样子。
其实我不后悔我拿华语，虽然那可能会是我SPM唯一的遗憾。
我想要努力。
突然很想哭泣，眼泪却似已经流尽。
不是我不想说话，只是，有时候说了，你也不能改变什么。
不错呢，看了很多本书，却没读什么书。
我想要养一只波斯猫，毛茸茸的，可爱。 :)
说实话，我根本就是一个喜欢说粗口的女生。
我的梦想，其实不是做个医生。
我喜欢画画。
我想要更多漂亮的衣服。
我希望我拥有完美的外貌。
我已经陷入了爱情的轮回。
就连友谊都没有永远吗？
现在的我，很寂寞。

我会实现我的梦想的。
日本。
我梦想的国度。
希望地震不再侵袭。

we got champion for english drama competition! (STATE LEVEL)
stay happy :D
nationals ahead.
phewww. SPM．
chills cindy.
you can do it. :)

an update, on sarawak's big day.

2011-04-16T14:39:00.001+08:00

THE BIG DAY TODAY.
sarawak election! wheeewit!
the fire is burning around our peaceful miri town will all sorts of BANNER and SLOGAN.
i actually had fun looking at them. lalala. :D
and i believed, for the drivers, the banners are such a big distraction? XD
and it caused lots of accidents.
people quarrel for the party they support.
arguments everywhere, phew but i am not getting into it yet,
everything will be over after today?
hopefully :D

it is so hard to actually contemplate with 3 languages altogether! frustration, yes. i dunno how much time i should spend at it, since i have 7 more subjects to deal with. phew, all in a sudden i feel so hopeless, and i has been reading 3 different languages material for today.

no transport.
lost track of time.
improper planning.

i think i should really write out a timetable.
a month more to my NIGHTMARE,
and i am still effortlessly, doing nothing.
TIME TO WORKOUT. :(

overslept, means a day's plan is disrupted.
fell asleep before the time u suppose to, u spoil ur whole day.

gah.

bad days :(

counting down, 4 days to State Level English Drama Competition!
SO WHAT, go go go! :D
hope for the best.
byeeee rotten bloggie. :)

what made u king of the world?

2011-03-20T01:17:00.000+08:00

my holiday was wasted totally.
\FML/
not being able to read, to catch out with one piece, going out with friends, updating myself with lotsa INFOS,
AND not even trying to ease my troubling thoughts about my future?
i am still amid a midst of fog.

SAVE me.

it is all about serenity. aesthetic and piquant. dreams of mine are to go on a voyage with the world, and yet it is saddening that, what japan has to face. PRAY. :(

Japan's earthquake has shaken the world.
nuclear threats, tsunamis, radiation?
how can we live, standing so still, without giving a damn to the world we are living on?
sometimes i feel i am too troubled by my own things, and i forget there's still bigger MATTERs surrounding me.
i may lose my life at once, so why don't i live happily?
trying to contribute a part of me to the society, to the world.
LET'S START BY LOVING THE NATURE.

i don't get the point why people are wasting paper like wth?
does it worth? for ur ugly scribblings, for some unimportant stuffs?
get ready world, we should really enter a generation of smart phones, iPad, no more papers!
electronic devices can be designed to be biodegradable. don't cut more trees!
it has always been in my mind that, trees are the only solution to the disasters.
stop the politic craps, get on action. do something useful!

changing languages in SCIENCE&MATHS can help NOTHING definitely.
it won't made our nation more united, our students wouldn't become smarter, we all know it is about the S sign. $. and what does it mean? more cutting of papers, the publishers, threw away the old stock, get ready for the new cash in. TREES are cut down. well, malaysia is safee so far, but who can expect when the catastrophes will strike?

SHUT UP.
and just watch the world with a wider angle.
i can only play my part.
while, i am of those nameless, who is still stuck at the present.
i hope to see changes.
let me take part.
action speaks so much louder than words.
i guess most probably a THINKER like me will be a LOSER always.
well, i live with FAILURES.

they outlived me.
:)

DO IT BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.
we are nothing to the world.
and we have nothing in the end.
there's hope.
just, don't stop believing.

you can tell i am a dreamer, but you can't stop me.

2011-02-25T00:12:00.001+08:00

xiindiie says:

我们都是追梦的人
踏着荆棘不停向前
不想也不能停下
不因为困难重重而停滞
不因为寒风暴雨而踌躇
因为我们相信前方会有最美好的风景
我们将会看到人生最美的第一道曙光

我们都是追梦的人
所以我们会是最要好的朋友
在这段旅程中你从未离去
只因我们都是逐梦的人

从不因为失败而放弃
从不因为挫折就回头

而这就是我们 :)

this is us.
and one day we should ride on a hot air balloon and fly.

“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”

actually i do miss you.

2011-02-20T14:20:00.002+08:00

but what's done is done :)
and we just have to move on.

I'm not okae.

2011-02-17T21:00:00.000+08:00

I'm such a big liar myself. I cheated everyone, including myself that I am ok. And I do look as I am. But the truth is everytime I can just close my eyes and feel his presence around me. He is in every corner. His smile, his tears his kindness his everything can't vanish like that. I use his birthday as my password I remember how we used to be can anyone tell me how to forget? Irony huh for the one who broke others heart to have a broken heart indeed. I can't deny that I still care. But somehow letting go is the right decision. I have to believe that. :( sorry sorry sorry sorry. And you will never see this. Again.

the end of the story.

2011-02-16T23:25:00.000+08:00

i used to keep every message you sent to me.
i used to call you my baby.
i used to have you running in my head all day round.
i used to have you by my side.
i used to have you who will drag me out from my shell whenever i was sad or trying to hide.
i used to escape, and you will drag me back to face the reality.
you once were the source of my happiness.
you once were satisfied easily at every single thing.
you once were reading this.
you once were the only light in my life.
you once were the one who instilled confident in me, who fought for my rights.

you used to wipe my tears.
i used to hurt you.

and this is the end.
i would convey my gratitude, for being such a great person for a bad ass girl like me. i apologize for the time you wasted on me. i am guilty, i am sorry, i really am. I have tried to make an effort, but i failed.

Happiness will always remain. You wrote the stories of My Memorial in permanent marker. Reminisce. Something which will never fade? I have yet started on our diary, and it is the end.

i broke my promise again, even for the last time.
farewell, my lover.

and there's this something, i have never got the chance to pass to you.

李聖傑 - 抱歉

2011-02-13T13:27:00.000+08:00

忘了我們是在什麼時候
選擇放開彼此的手
忘了我們為了什麼理由
才會讓你一個人走

為什麼總在失去後才懂得
才發現你對我最重要
為什麼到後來我才有聽說
你最愛的人還是我
我想妥協不想眷戀
我想你在身邊

能不能夠讓我們重來一遍
你是否對我還有相同感覺
我不想要再對自己抱怨
也不想再狼狽
能不能夠讓我們回到從前
回到那一天當我們還相戀
你說過要陪我走到永遠
還是你在敷衍

忘了我們是在什麼時候
選擇放開彼此的手
忘了我們為了什麼理由
才決定不能再挽留

為什麼總在失去後才懂得
才發現你對我最重要
為什麼到後來我才有聽說
你最愛的人還是我

能不能夠讓我們重來一遍
你是否對我還有相同感覺
我不想要再對自己抱怨
也不想再狼狽
能不能夠讓我們回到從前
回到那一天當我們還相戀
你說過要陪我走到永遠
還是你在敷衍

能不能夠讓我們重來一遍
你是否對我還有相同感覺
我不想要再對自己抱怨
也不想再狼狽
能不能夠讓我們回到從前
回到那一天當我們還相戀
你說過要陪我走到永遠
但你卻說抱歉

happy chinese new year :D

2011-02-04T14:16:00.000+08:00

first of all! REVIVAL OF MY COMPUTER.
how much i miss you muacks muacks :p

and i realize one thing, despite of my birthday horoscope, which is aquarius, one piece has played quite a part in my dream-chasing way :)
luffy.. yes! he is always confident of himself, believing that he may one day reach his dream. nothing ever bend his spirit. the obstacles in front of him? he takes them down, one by one. some may say that he's being a big fool for believing in such thing, for his never give up spirit, for his... unplanned way of achieving it. well, what makes a person special? it is his dreams! he is so different from the others, and he is willing to help others in their dreams too. Sanji's All Blue, Zorro's BEST SWORDMAN, and Nami's voyage diary... and so on :)

he gives people hope.. and because of the dreamer characteristic, everyone is.. falling towards his side. the charm.. hmmm! well.. here's some of the most recent pages which i love A LOT! :D

the first one is the time when Luffy had his down-to-hell time.. he lost his brother.. Portgas D.Ace. he is my favourite character! :( saddest part... there's weakness in everyone :) so at least, he stand up again later! :D

WE MUST LIVE WITH NO REGRETS... LIVE WITH FREEDOM!

i guess that's the best part.. ahhaha! and they are my inspiration :)

to live your life being a dream catcher.. well, i guess that will be the best.. and.. that's the way i want :)

as the hunger of it never fades.. i may one day soar high in the sky..

well, sky has no limits right? :)

and lastly! GONG XI FA CAI AGAIN!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE :D

reminiscing, 2010.

2011-01-31T19:41:00.000+08:00

2010 was a really hectic year for me. new subjects, new environment. from A class to S1. and at 2010, i was a senior secondary school student? first year though. last year's memories were a complete mess to me. so i will try... to write some of the things which i still remember? :)

January : Orientation 2010! Designer, Group 3 - BLUE MOON! till now i forgot most of my new students' name :x OOPS! and i missed the time when our group AJKs randomly chit chatting.. and the most unforgettable moment was that when nam hua scolded us.. i guess it was just too hard for US to stop talking?

our backdrop.

the crazy AJKs! :D

THIS IS US!! with our banner! :D

JCLC! also on the month of january.. nothing too special about this camp, except this was the first camp of me and norman? :) and it brought troubles and $ to us later. LOL

and i had the best birthday ever too! on 2010 :) having so many people remembering my birthday, including the new students! :D you two rocks! hahaha! love the little doggy ing kong gave to me, and also the handmade pencil case by norman! not to forget the birthday cake and the handmade doll from brenda! thanks to my friends who really make my day :)

february : CHINESE NEW YEAR! i just had the chance to be with my friends on the first day of CNY because later i had... my monthly menstrual pain ~.~

and i guess that's when the concert rehearsal started? and i entered drama through my lousy audition performance. just to be crew though... and... when we practised on our excellence students' choir? LOL..

march : oh yes.. the real concert.. and our performance.. haha! i can hardly remember march.. i just knew that i went to school A LOT! and did props... really minor one with brenda.. did i go anywhere that time? i could hardly remember! haha!

this is my beloved curtain team! we are the BLACK ones! haha!

japan girls? hahaha!

April : here come along my favourite drama team! they were the crazy ones! and they were always full with crap ideas and funny thoughts. well i guess that's what make them dramatic. and the actors and actress. :)

WE WON! BABE! :D

MAY: others were busy preparing for exams.. and we were busy preparing for competition! well. not really, we played LEFT4DEAD and all sorts of things at hall. when others were studying, suffering, drowning, and we were having fun! we went kuching for our STATE LEVEL! :D

and this month was like an environment month for me too. haha! this is my design on the love earth shirt. i guess that rocks? so many people buy. tsk tsk.

and the GO GREEN! on miri city day! well, we went wild with the aerobic movement. XD

and i guess May was when the probation started? well, i love my seniors. but i just not a good prefect. i fail them..

JUNE : shopping time!! i went Sabah for the leo forum.. KINDA BORED I MAY SAY. RAWR! but had some fun with the girls. hehe :P and met my old friend RACHEL AND STEPHANIE :D

banquet night? LOL ><

bus craze! hahaha! :D

and after that i went shopping and bla bla bla. love the faceshop! hahaha! then... i bought my favorite watch!

after coming back from sabah, i wasn't free too. have to prepare for training camp!

well, i became the ORGANIZING CHAIRPERSON of BSMM TRAINING CAMP 2010! i felt really proud of it. Did you remember our team test? FTW :D waka waka eh eh! football GOAL! :D

and got one day.. AJK traiining.. me and brenda went vanessa's house. here was the cake. XD

in the same month we celebrated teacher's day.. well, this year theme was HALLOWEEN! and we made it? hahaah! although it just wasn't scary, but indeed, cute. we had lots of witch hats! :D

wasn't really scary though. HAHAHA!

and DANCE FOR HUMANITY was fun! hahaha!

here i had the chance to meet my old friends again. whee!

JULY : took money at kolej? eh? hahaha!

and we got installed at July too. hahahah! those were the sad times.

and the drama team held a farewell for the seniors at PARK CITY!

the swimming pool gang? RAWR!

BBQ at chee lun's house! marvelous owww~

AUGUST : well... went to leo camp.. haha! kinda ok gua? forgot about the most part. LOL.

dinner kinda high.. haha!

and it was ANNUAL PARADE! we got second! we were happy and we went sugarbun later! ahahhaah! :D

flag sale flag sale? lost count.. which month was you in? LOL!

i love flag sale so much.. KROKOP team! well i was the leader too. XD but i brought them to eat around instead! and the 2nd day, we went EMART and SAPU! woots :D

and we did go ask for donation houses by houses at Desa Seri.

why the rich people always so giam siat one huh?

act tiada di rumah. GRRR. and we won! for once again. ngehehehe :p RM40000+ woots!

SEPTEMBER : oh yeah.. i forgot mostly about september.. but this was when i got my sons and daughters.. and taught them my knowledges.. and they won! thank god. i can't actually believe that WE MADE IT! and just in one week. with naruto always in my mind XD

BEST TEAM TEST AND CHAMPION BABE :D

best leader goes to Jason! :D

and this photo was the us.. in 2008. we are the champion too! and the best leader goes to jeff!

something made me proud.. that is we together saked in 21 trophies! in 2008 and 2010? XD

October : well october was a studying month? I FORGOT AGAIN. FORGIVE ME. ==" food fair perhaps?

November : THIS IS THE BEST MONTH EVER IN 2010!

we had primary school gathering! :D

we had flag sale appreciation dinner.

we had the meeting with prefects from SMK METHODIST.

we had the BEST CAMP EVER!

best jungle trekking :)

best GM team!

best memories!

and the best and ever! AMAZING RACE!

DECEMBER : well, i love this month too! i went kuching high!! :D

us, miri participants!

my team, PHOENIX GO GO GO!

we completed our second amazing race at THE SPRING! kawad there. and we watched narnia at MBO. and i went to a lot of places with linley's family...

during Christmas, me and my family went Marriott for our celebration.. just the swimming pool nice, nothing special XD and we went fun fair after that. hahaha FERRIS WHEEL! :D

i guess that will be all. hahaha! 2010! i love you most! especially

, CHRC who brought me the best memories!

:'(

2011-01-17T00:07:00.001+08:00

have been sleeping late recently.. :) i wonder why.. maybe i am being energetic? or i just can't actually ignore that you are running in my mind. yeah you are right i have been planning it. i dun want to be the old miserable me. seeking for love and company until the very end? no i am not going to do that. i grow up.

i found the old photos which i hide long time ago, the old and painful memories i may say. picture speaks a thousand words. but i hate the past, he ruined my life, my everything, and indirectly, he ruined my present love life. are we going to break? i didn;t know. i lay my fate to god. yes god, as what lucy told me. He is the most powerful above all. He arranges everything, and guides us. and we can only accept. And it's only when, i have no one to depend on, i speak to God. :) and yes, i am still an atheist. Lead my way. :( i tore the photos. and blacken my face. She is someone i didn't want to recognize anymore, and ever. It's hatred.

LOVE = lies of valuable emotions. well this is a nice definition. the beginning was so sweet, but not everyone can win the marathon at last. let him be my weakness? no, i am just too selfish to do so. yet, sorry. i give my priority to my friends, and put you and them to be at the same position, because, even if you're gone, they're with me. and even if they leave, they bring less sadness to me, because they would never hurt me that much as you do. Do you know it? i hope you understand, and i have been trying to let you understand. and i fail again and again.

we love different things. we listen to different songs. we dun hold the same opinions in things, you think that my act is childish, and i think yours as well. you don't think as deep as mine. sorry, i am a much troubled person. i am sick of those messy thoughts. but.. that's what make me? i do try to change. and yet, i fail again. maybe i am just not trying hard enough. we told each other, no matter how much obstacles are in front, we can take them down one by one. and this is what we are now. tired of each other. Introversion v.s Extroversion.

i would like to say that we are not going to break, in this two weeks. i am being too despair towards this relationship, it will just gonna face the dead end somedays, not today, who know what is going to happen in the future?
sorry i have to escape. sorry i actually am not mature enough to prepare for this. sorry i just... feel the love is gone. can you come back? and the most important is, can i turn back time? we were watching movie yesterday. Last year, we watched woohoo. i cried, as always. you wait me at the escalator. you told me that my hair was beautiful, because short hair is your thing. and i cut it for you. this year, we watched great day. i cried again and you still ask me not to cry. it's the same, but you no more wait for me at the escalator.i let my hair grow longer now. you still told me i am beautiful,but, you couldn't sense that my heart is dying, and i am controlling myself not to cry. the later it turn up to be OK, but i know the love was gone. and it will never come back.

it was all my faults. my faults. sorry. you are great, and i just wasn't perfect.
tears are salty, aren't there? :')

Happy Birthdaaay Daddy Mummy! :D

2011-01-09T17:33:00.000+08:00

IT WAS MY PARENT'S BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY! and yes happy birthday to them! :)
we children bought them a lazy chair.
enjoy your tv shows! :D

dinner at Imperial Palace. LOL i hate duck ~.~
and i love the mussels! <3
thanks to norman my dearest ahahaha. :P
a rather good night, and later we drove to imperial mall.
did some stupid things with norman! haha!
photos taking of the road? LOL.
said stupid things of each other, and chasing like kids.
*you're not supposed to say me ugly huh little kid?!*
we are just going back to time anyway :)

SMILE! :D i hate it when you're angry.

anyway, didn't go to everywhere today, i was lazy. tight budget larhh.. don't blame me though. :)

and i have lots of homework. duhh. hope time is being kind on me, anyhow.. preparation of prefect camp ahead.. hopefully i wouldn't face much FAILURES again.

THIS IS Life.

this world is beautiful, but we fucked it up.

2011-01-08T22:48:00.000+08:00

the first week of school, obviously it was great!
but hate it when people push me against my limit...
i am not elastic ok? my molecular force cant get me back together when i was stretched.
PLEASE BE NOTED.
(and i eat especially a lot when stressed up. KANASAI!)

explain on my weekly schedule :

Monday :
4.30pm-6.00pm Add M3
7.30pm-9.00pm Chemistry

Tuesday :
6.00pm-7.30pm Physics

Wednesday :
Same as Monday

Thursday :
Same as Tuesday

Friday :
5.00pm-7.15pm BM

i will remember the time really clearly, especially friday one. because, the first day of my tuition, i just attend for 10 minutes. walao eh, kena others gio dim dim ~.~ got cek dao. zzz!

Saturday :
3.00-6.30pm English

eventually my life will stick on the tuition schedule. 10A+s be in my hand please! i beg for it :(
and i will work really really hard for it!!

THE SPM YEAR. OH MAN! i have never been so nervous on exam itself. I can't bear to lose the chance. I don't want to be just the ordinary one. I want to shine and i am desperate to.

although i may lose myself throughout the journey.. studying can make you lose your mind, and forget what kind of person you once is. Till then, remind me of what i have done wrong. Remind me of the laughter. and everything that make life worthy. :) throughout 2010, i change a lot. i read my blog posts in 2009, well, i was so happy back then. life with lots and lots of happiness. :)

and they are locked. in the chest of memories.
well, look forward, my crazy acts make our new classmates week! i saw he laughed a lot ~.~
hahahaha!

and i am ENTP. well...... the Visionary?
In general, ENTPs are upbeat visionaries. They highly value knowledge, and spend much of their lives seeking a higher understanding. They live in the world of possibilities, and become excited about concepts, challenges and difficulties. When presented with a problem, they're good at improvising and quickly come up with a creative solution. Creative, clever, curious, and theoretical, ENTPs have a broad range of possibilities in their lives.

growing up changes much of a person? :)
BLACK MAGIC.

first day of 2011, let it be 11 :)

2011-01-01T11:05:00.001+08:00

1. 120~ 知道你的重要性了吗?整整type了3粒钟才把压轴的位子给你! form 1 是我们打打闹闹, form 2 好像也没怎么熟.真正到form 3 才真真的很好很好.记得那时我们会谈论很多很多事,人生的成功与失败,我们自己的人生目标.偷偷跟你说,每当我有什么新的梦想或目标是,我一定是第一个告诉你的.因为可能只有你不会觉得那是什么天方夜谭之类的东西.谢谢你一路来的支持与信任,我们会事永远最要好的朋友 :DD

2. 120. for me, you're someone special. you have small teeth HAHAHA and your laugh is so special. glad to have you as my partner. hahaha! sometimes used to work together with you and so cant get used to others x.x you have lots of crazy and snake idea. hahaha! love your craziness. i want tumpang your car during cny! BLEH. teehee! though we didn't honey here and there but you're in my buddy list. always will be :))

3. miss 120~ ur turn le~ ^^ 很常发出很夸张的笑声！从form2就认识了但那时还没很熟的说, 但到了form3不知怎样突然变得很熟。。你最会一心二用了，每次补习时总有说不完的话题，最过分的是不知不觉你就写完整篇作文而我却一段都还没写完。。=.= 好人一个，每次有求于你都ok的！=) 也很常听我发牢骚.. hehe.. 大美女，明年加油啊！frens 4eva~ ^^

4. ~120~美女~哈哈！跟你一起的时候也是一直笑，而且会笑得很疯！当我们同在一起，就会不顾形象的大笑，而且很疯，我们做事的时候是半正经半疯狂的！很开心啊，没烦恼的！还有啊，你很照顾孩子，很有一家之主的风范，以后要多多照顾，想念，不可以忘记孩子啊！以后我们也要一直笑啊！一直笑疯疯！哈哈！开心到爆！xDD

5. miss 120 . you know who you are to me. haha . thanks for those heart to heart talks . i know i can always trust you! you're a person who's sure of your dreams and you know what you want . go for your dreams. will support you all the way. and prove yourself to the world :] haha. all the best girl ♥ your smile means a lot to me ! weeee. enjoy life, you :)

6. 120. you're a si 38 and crazy person.. but happy to know you.. XD still remember what we did when we form1?? haha.. and don know from when we start to kepo-ing around till now.. lols.. and sometime still together jio someone.. woohoo so fun.. and i rember you point me something when camp.. -.- lols!! anyway Happy New year.. =)

7. 120♥ 和你有太多美好的回忆了！哈哈，还没当prefect之前差不多每一天下课都到你班去吃东西咯~gossip咯~看帅哥(尤其是小弟弟=P)~讲心事~放学时间通常都拉你去对面吃午餐，虽然有时不想去，可是被我拉到最后都会和我去咯！..=P..然后还拉你去跳舞，身体看似有些不协调~可是很勤劳的你进步了很多咯！probation时，越来越没时间了~通常应该都只有放学时间去吃了！还有帮我写几天的daily report!!!..=P..慢慢的应该是接进你PMR时，我们就开始少联络了~=((...嘿，要谢谢你介绍那么多的朋友给我认识啊！！明年SPM加油哦！！还有不要把我给忘了也是！♥ 要长保持联络哦！！;D

8. Tanned 120 ! Another blackbeauty (: I absolutely adore ppl hu are artistic, WOAHH ♥ U're good in paintings those, *envy* ! Mmm, i tink i started to noe u tis year, for me , u're realli good in talking, maybe can bcome lawyer ^o^ U noe, i tink u look like 1 star , 亚美将！kekekeeees~ U're realli good in Chinese and studies too, phewhit. FrensFrever !

9. : "Miss 120, or should I say Mrs? HAHAA ;P You're a beautiful girl! :D You have bigg eyes and a cute smile. ;) You're a talented person! You draw really pro ehh. :D You smart lagi! Sigghh, not like me! teeheeee. ;P Hope we'll always stay in touch bo? ;D"

10. Dear 120, :) 我喜欢你有感染力的文字，喜欢你的直率坦然，喜欢你的笑容。虽然有时候嘴巴不饶人但是因为这样才会有乐趣。最喜欢的是你的坦率，还有喜欢跟你聊天。跟你聊天的时候很舒服，舒服到滔滔不绝然后被在台上的校长训话。XD 和你聊天时大多数都是你在说我在听，我喜欢这种沟通方式。:) 要写可能写不完因为太多太多了。很特别的一个朋友，XD加油！不习惯跟别人一样跟你甜言蜜语不习惯每一次在每一个post后面加♥。:P but you're special to me.

11. [120] 首先要认同你所说的，对咯，我们从小学就认识了可是到现在还是有距离的朋友，哈哈>< 嘴巴已经很大了的你哈哈大笑时候嘴巴更大，不过只要一听到这种笑声就懂谁在附近了~~ 你的华文造诣很好，还蛮喜欢你的文笔的说 ;))

01.01.2011, let it be with all the rock and rolls. :D

in memories of 19th chung hua camp.

2010-12-28T01:16:00.002+08:00

总算没有和别人聊天的半夜，哈哈房间里天天都那么热闹，我们的半夜karaoke session, anson的自言自语等等哈哈！
所以害到我没有心情写到blog...
没有时间为这个非常有意义的假期写回忆录。

直到现在。
第一个最有意义的，就是chung hua camp吧。
第４年也是最后一年参加，每一年参加我都是很pekcek的，明明就没有什么值得纪念的东西可是每一年都是“算了，还是参加吧，希望今年会有惊喜？”
最后都是哭着回家哈哈！没啦，form 1幼稚的我就免提了，form 2我是一边流鼻血一边哭，是不是有kik到？哈哈！不过那些日子都过去啦，感谢在form 3时，我最好的朋友和周围的朋友们陪我度过了一段我在18th chung hua camp最美好的时光 :D 不过，还是难逃最后几名的宿命～

今年，对chung hua camp的一切从年头就兴奋到年尾，很幸运的做到了game master，和一群疯疯癫癫，臭话满天飞又很黄的一群男生在ops room完成了最KIK的GAMES! 虽然他们天天gio我，什么google，中指，etc etc，不过我知道他们都是好人啦，在我冻僵时还送被～　不过睡到蒙时做的事真的很丢脸 ~.~ 睡很少很少，不过跟jiarui他们相比还是很多！talk crap时候最精神，认真时全部死人脸，有时候有些人就是一睡就起不来, ERASB!?。我也是其中一个，erhem，被y2k巴都不会醒？！我怎么了？哈哈！拍eric的戏也是！BEST! 哈哈！第一个ice breaking, BALCONY lerh on le! SUPERGIRL! water game~ ，　看人家乒乓球玩kiss kiss有爽到～　海带拳！SPIRAL ZONE看到brenda那群贱人我简直晕倒，看到我都想吐　~.~　还有那些可爱的fishy ><"
dancing session ^^ amazing race真的是一流阿！！！哈哈哈！我爱group 6 XD　从头跟踪到尾，erhem, 顺便玩玩第７组 XD　我最爱石头和百盛～　操步！哈哈！看人家痛苦的表情～　顺便感谢那些很用心的AJK, Station Masters 我爱死你们！哈哈！
GM QUOTES：什么j～, hai zap liu, holy~ #$%^&* 哈哈！ah lei包毛巾～　==" wheee~
要说真的是不懂要几天几夜，最后一天，我连睡觉都在笑。bobo看到的 XD
今年的angel and noble also best! thanks to post boy PYS! haha!

和朋友在一起的时光真的是最开心的，pys ar，wen yen ar，ham then ar，li kim ar，wan ling ar, aaron ar, ham chee，jiarui, julian jacky jia lei ah hui ( THE GMS! )，eric~ ( ERAS! )，jeff，jai，ian，brenda，teck yew, y2k, khun and a lot a lot more! ( sorry if i do miss out some ) and　lucky to get to know outstation people like chun mei, catherine, liang yuan... and from sibu, jacky ( CUTE GUY! ), ah hing, sing chai and roger... still remember our TRUTH AND DARE? :D haha! and not to forget the very kind group 6 members, TOTORO! and my best friend ya :)

收到很多礼物，很感动，只能说这是best camp! i am happy from the beginning till the end... 不过，最后几天有些许不愉快。一个人你认识得越久，你不是越喜欢他，就是越讨厌他。我亲爱的朋友们，我越来越喜欢你们！哈哈！一个人的优点就是要时间来发掘吧？希望我现在真的是on the way to perfection... 不要讨厌我啊，虽然我真的有时很欠扁，很noob，很没用？
可是我会是你们的best listener，还有，永远的真心朋友。不相信？那就用时间来证明吧。哈哈！:)

the memories of 19th chung hua camp should never fade.

and all we left now are photos, and memories.

one of the picture of friends :) dunno which to select. hmmm!

imissjungletrekking,theletters,myfriends,and all the laughters. :(

dulaaan qinn.

2010-12-21T18:13:00.000+08:00

thinking ways to educate children.
when you were young for sure your parents gave you everything you want right?
when you cried or what so ever they would fulfill all of your wishes.
this is how a kid behaves.

however, when they grow up, they have the bad ass attitude in them.
they want everything they want because of the childhood memories.
their satisfactions become of utmost importance.

SPOILED kids that i may say.

we should actually educate them since they were small.
cry? unless it's reasonable, or else i wont care.
i don't care whether how young you are.
you just need to grow up every now and when.

like hell when i need to take care the kid.
when she angry you release your anger on me.
and not even that she is my sister or what.
i won't give a piece of sympathy anymore.
looking cute? sorry i don't act and judge by looks.

frustration frustration.
i miss the days when i weren't home.
no, it is when she wasn't around.

and her parents? being irresponsible too.
if you wanna born a baby then carry on your responsibility.
not kicking her to others like a ball.
do not educate her or what.
buy her expensive clothes and milk powder?
and when she grows up she has a sucks attitude?
then put the blame on others again?
HAHA. how funny i may say.
materialism only WORKS for people like YOU.
even a 11-year-old-kid can tell your management sucks.
when the shop was busy you left and yam cha with your friends?
i am waiting for the shop to come to a dead end.
let's see till then how your flaring nose will become.
nice house luxurious car, but inside you are EMPTY.
hollow.

i will be the blackface.
just like the way how i treat one of my cousin before.
he has all the things he wants, and hence his behaviour sucks.
but now he behave well in front of me.

no, you just can't give everything they want.
good attitude can only be instilled when they were young.
LIKE NOW.

BLAME AND BLAME AND BLAME.
how will this ever end?

COnverse.

2010-12-20T14:07:00.000+08:00

Little Cindy Love Who? :P
come across with this at Converse website just now. such a coincidence. XD
but it's for kids. Kids All Star.

original print of mine. XD
ugly seii, hahaha but it's just for fun. some day i gonna own one!

Christmas is coming but i don't feel the season yet.
stretched and stressed. hmmm.
babysitting is the most annoying thing ever to be done in my life.
ish.

of inspiration.

2010-12-19T23:14:00.002+08:00

come across this picture in we heart it. :)!
kawaii des mushroom! :D

then decide to find a series of mushrooms. XD

ipod mushroom!
before i sleep i guess i have the idea for the new 'SKIN' of my next year planner!
it will consist of my favourite brands like converse, levi's etc. LOGOS!! black and white.

sampleeee :

symbolism, collage. that will it be, with the simplest material and media - white paper and black pen. may it wont turn out to be a failure. :D today talk with hams : ham soo, ham then, ham pui at law class non stop for 7 hour 20 minute! admire us. i like it when we talk about pearl and hams. i think i am crab cause i talk crap. i know this sounds lame but we are happy!

HAPPY DAY! <3
although the dooms day was just like yesterday, i found back the feeling!
ILOVEYOU. and THANKYOU.

the time, i am back. :)

2010-12-19T21:36:00.000+08:00

soul mate, it was like a deep and heavy topic to be tackled on.
i would not define anyone yet, but after years studying at chung hua miri, a noob like me would become proo.
this holiday has been really happy, although with ups and downs.
i went to a lot of places, met a lot of people.
faced disappointments, and see the hope again.

there were a few incidents happening.
i have always believed this concept, " the more you get to know one people, either you like her more or hate her more."
sometimes it just isn;t easy to see through the surface but you just have to learn.
and ya i do learn my lessons from some happenings.
although it just seem to be a little trace to hint us, i realize it.
the times of me believing were gone.
everyone changes, even i do.
it is growing up. we no more hold the simple thoughts like before,
trusting everyone we called friends, helping them and used by them.
somehow we just go together to chase away loneliness.
i can't stop but thinking to that way.
someone asked :"why you were not like the old time?" who they actually like and miss.

i am sorry. i just can't go back to the old time.
behind the laughter, there is only happiness.
something heavy is pushing on me.
i guess i know what it is called, it is

'GROWING UP.'

i need a dispeller of all my worries.
worry to be betrayed , to be hated, to be misunderstood.
to face failures endlessly , forced , and so on.

thankfully, even at a dark era like this,
i found soul mates. they make me want to strive to the most,
always, even at the worst time.
my loved one, families, and friends.
just by talking they can cheer me up.
some of them are my memories keeper.
some of them are my listeners.
some of them pull me up when i fall.

even when it's your time to fly, they support you, and give you the wings.
and if you wanna cry, they will lend you their shoulders.
even if we are all growing up, we will always be friends.
time goes, people change, and the friendship remains. :D

it would be the last year for us, 2011.
nothing can stay forever, you will go australia, US, UK, all sorts of places.
but remember, we are once friends. and we will forever be friends.

it isn't the end yet, but i just feel very emo what, because... it is time to leave RC.
4 years. we strengthen our relationship more in CH camp.
we be AJKs and so on, when we were once members.
it is hard to say goodbye. like for KHSRC camp, i met new friends, the happiness as if last forever.

the burning phoenix spirit.

the memories with all my RC friends.

the memories with my classmates, schoolmates, drama team.

the memories with mr.N,

perhaps last night thing is like telling me, sometimes things ought to be over. and we can't escape but accept.
2010.

i am going to miss you. :)

and she's back, safe and sound, on the shore at last after the shipwreck,weeping like a little girl whose mother is waving to her from the deck of the foundering boat,

2010-12-02T20:24:00.000+08:00

a snapshot of an emotion?

if fervent memory could raise the dead,she would be our eurydice,she would rise like lady lazarus from her stubborn death to solace us. but all our laments could not add a single second to her life, not one additional beat of the heart, nor breath.

and yeah, time is nothing.
and death would never hold us down.

recently,

2010-11-17T14:33:00.000+08:00

graduation was a strain, mr albert's farewell was restraining me, although yes, i do respect him as our vice principal. i will miss him. :)

from brendan.

i actually hate to ask students to keep quiet cause i know if it has to be me, i will talk non stop too!
damn boring.
and i am too kind to roll eyes at people, like someone did. xD

My form 4, yes it is officially over! and i actually should HOORAY for it. but...
holidays coming are way no difference from the school days.
i still need to go to school.
i still need to squeeze my brain juice ~.~
i still need to wake up early.
this holiday... well possibly isn't my new life. T___T
days to date with naruto is yet too far in sight :(

what i've been doing this few days :
1.Primary School 6A-6b Reunion at Piasau Boat Club
i am enjoying it. and Lucy Wong my honey was v v stupid to go to GOLF CLUB instead of BOAT CLUB!
/_\" fine i was used to your talent. last time she went to IMPERIAL PALACE insteal of IMPERIAL Hotel. ahahaha, honey i love you although i dunno why you are so blur in time ><"

group photo!

2. Dating with my sweetheart :p
we watched two movies, repomen and Ju-On.
JuOn sucks le? maybe it is the problem with the pps ~.~
maybe it wasn't the real Ju-On???
i don't feel very scary just wonder wonder and wonder!
repomen still ok la. but it goes kinda lame in the end.
suspense suspense suspense.
and we washed two cars! i felt very satisfied with the end product.
afterall due to my hectic life style this was the first time i wash car in this year. hahaha.
and we danced some funny aerobic :)
mum and lulu also joined us :)
so happy heee.

3. My drawing.
nearly completed!~

not very perfect though, i wasn't copy ninja kakashi! still need sometime to perfect it! :D

and there are books! well, update in another post! :D
HAPPY HOLIDAY PEOPLE!!

with loves,
xiindiie :)

working day?

2010-11-10T18:28:00.001+08:00

今天是working day，知道为什么吗？
即今天不能看太多PPS啦，还有好多好多东西要做。
像是design T-Shirt,想game,把书看完！
最近都在看the time traveler's wife. 600多页啊，我真佩服自己面对隐晦英文时的怡然自得 ~.~
完成了一半了，需要继续加油！

这个星期五朋友们说要去看童眼啊。
期待期待。
喜欢被吓得一群人 ~.~
还有不敢面对的人们 -____-
颁奖典礼etc etc.

不久后的一天我会写离别颂给我们的big big.
不过，如果是我，我不会像你那般哭呢，能够得到更好的机会，何必伤心呢？
想念朋友吗？现今科技如此进步，你还以为像古时一去不为头，什么壮士一去兮不复返？
华语拿最高分的，没办法，全都刻在脑海里了呢。
是我的话，我甘愿一去不回头阿！
小叮当的法宝不是有个任意门吗？
随时可以回来啊！ :D
(现代人的任意门就是 $$ 是也 -___-)

这个假期好忙好烦! ~.~
以后再上来诉苦！
Chung Hua Camp, Kuching High Camp, Brunei Guest House, 还有可能去旅行(靠父母的最后一次)。
不要忘记我还有很多art work没有完成，还要去学graphic design。
时间时间，恳求你，让我能把东西都做完 :)

時をかける少女

2010-11-09T23:34:00.000+08:00

我的夜晚贡献给了这个日本动画 :)
是一贯的日本风格，淡淡的，轻轻地用不一样的手法写出一些总是被忽略的事情。
穿越时空----- 时间
time waits for no one.
美丽的背景，结尾的钢琴曲。
很轻的感动，很清的爱情，很纯的友情。
就算我们拥有能回到过去，或者去到未来的能力，重来的时间，永远不会是一样的。
我一直都相信，现在的一个选择，影响的是一个人的一生。

等待，或许无论多久，只要你从后面追上，我就会转身拥抱 :)
跑吧，就是需要这样，我才能够追上时间，我才能和你并肩。

我们的时间不会重来啊，不过我们有选择的权利。
奔跑吧，时间的追逐者。

To: 消逝的时间
我很努力想抓紧你，可是一切是否真的都太迟？
醒觉什么的，还能挽回吗？
还是，一切交由命运的女神？
我拥有的只有一双手，就是这样，紧紧地抓住未来吗？

是这样吗？

故事中的主角愧疚，因为无法挽回。
我呢？

i had a dream.

2010-11-08T20:49:00.000+08:00

well, it was sunday. i had this dream. it was like no other, in a way, yes. Let's tell the story setting, it happened at Hogwarts. Huh? if you were a Harry Potter fans, you should know.

however, it is kind of weird because the background is Malaysia, and the principal shouted "Konsep 1 Malaysia!" something like that which made me confuse ~.~ and my schoolmates were the same! i just could remember there are tiffany, teck yew... gah, till now i forgot. i remember there was a cute korean boy staring at me.

we had a sumptuous dinner, at you-know-where the part at hogwarts? before the Sorting Hat. We were given a necktie. silver lining! beautiful drop dead gorgeous. THAT SHOULD BE THE WAY OF AN ACADEMY OF MAGIC! mysteries!

and i was a new student there. still, clumsy as the way i am, took a lot of food, saw the famous stone cake. didn't take any dessert ~.~ and someone mistook my necktie and a teacher took my booK! there were two nerdy twins beside me. Blonde. so what ~.~ it was like they were looking down on me! i hate that sort of feeling. what's wrong with a girl with big appetite?!

THE THING WAS :

sorry i was talking crap all above. here comes the point. i almost slapped the girl who took my necktie cause she didn't give a damn. AND at the same time the Principal saw it. Did i mention he was a bald? he sucks and doesn't look like a wizard. Just an ordinary f-up old hag.

he said :"i will give you detention!"

i explained to him and i cried. i followed him to his office. and i still cried along the way. i kept on telling him and he refer to my testimonial.

"AS YOU CAN SEE. your friend who has very good attitude in school, as compared to you, who would i choose to believe? All your past teachers commented that you are stubborn and rude. Well, i can clearly see that now."

DAMN it. it was the same speaking with my primary 4 teacher. I FIRST TIME SO CLEARLY KNOW WHAT IS HATRED, that was towards her. but now, it was 6 years after that, now i know how to fight back :

"so now who do you think you are to judge me? you are only having the name of the principal and not actually having the SAHSIAH. Are you so perfect? You are just the same as those blind teachers. They can't see beyond the surface. so ya, you love those excellent students, just because they don't have any brain to express their opinions. they only follow orders. they score in everything, but hell ya when it comes to application they only know about the book. I need not you to give me any chance. I have had enough. I will one day stand on top of the world not depending on others to give me the chance but my own ability. i want a FAIR world, and nothing ever beats me.The choices are in my hand. The past will not stop me from successing. YOU JUST WAIT AND SEE. "

and i slammed the door. wooah, how cool am i. Anger blind-folded me. Sorting hat? i wish i could be in Slytherin, so that i can be the best out of the best, what will you lead me to a way? i know i have a choice :

Ravenclaw - 13

Slytherin - 12
Gryffindor - 11
Hufflepuff - 8

well i was near to it. hahahaha. too bad my intelligence beats all the above (loyal, sly,bravery) :x

i am least honest am i? :)

CHRC Flag Sale Appreciation Dinner 2010

2010-11-07T18:17:00.001+08:00

很高兴原来我很早就放下了，没有包袱的天空是多么美丽。:)

我旁边的姑娘是不是jin sui!?

今晚，真的是一个很美丽的夜晚。wenyen的愿望实现了，我和朋友们都渡过了一个愉快的夜晚。不过不知我们是不是把自己的快乐建筑在别人的痛苦上呢？希望不是，我们都是好人啊，不过是嘴巴很坏的好人　：Ｘ

rodent ruminant的笑话，猛喷饭的一堆lapsap人，我喷orange juice xD　尖叫狂笑BONEI etc.

热门话题人物xiao nei~

不可忘记ET穿裙和高跟鞋的难忘气势，AH Bren和我当场尖叫，ET今晚的表现直逼世界金氏记录！

忘记吃药的mother美丽的女儿帅气kiu and ai zai哈哈哈在这边就给他们脸咯，还有HOT DOG KIM!

best photo of the day :)

过不久我就会和CHRC说再见了。会想念你们这几个白痴 XD

最爱的CHRC，最爱的朋友们，YOUROCK!
i miss kueh zap :P
i miss flag sale.
i miss everything.
i miss all the sweet memories.
i miss.
我想，我失去。

with honey lucy!

难得出现eesing,khun和ian :)

疯疯癫癫家族全体照1

黑之gang ~.~

S1!

灿烂笑容篇

jia chyi笑容实在灿烂! xD

要和tang tang拍照的结果每次都是引来一堆狂蜂浪蝶 ~.~

总算成功却被短手女破坏　:x

一个人真的是有那种空虚感。
尤其是在狂欢的夜过后，失去的，没那么快乐的自己 :)
最后，今晚，我最成功的一件事就是踢到主席的屁股！（穿着高跟鞋短裙！）

黑鹭尸体宅配便+洗礼

2010-11-06T10:15:00.000+08:00

最近都在追看上述两本漫画，都只有五本，上网看的啦~
j今天早起，line很好，看得特别顺利，不过，黑鹭还没完结篇啦，不爽不爽 ~.~
话说黑鹭是关于有通灵能力的光头*ps.(不好意思很快的就把名字忘了 :x 我有名字失忆症 ==")
还有会探查尸体的墨镜男，电脑专家佐佐木 ( my god 总算记得一个) 还有etc etc 组成的帮忙尸体完成遗愿的公司啦？
故事很精彩！特别喜欢那个贱精算师用的机率算法,性格样貌出生地点生日血型全部综合就可以算出那个人在哪里何时会发生什么类型的意外! 虽然只是漫画不过真的是很kiang!

还有还有，关于埃及木乃伊的~ 例如耳小骨会随着时间消逝，木乃伊会取出内脏，只是保留心脏等，我对这类东西最有兴趣了阿！好看好看！不过…… 还是没有说到守护神的东西~
这个漫画许多事情都是有根据/传说之类的，像达摩。如果有看过forward mail的应该都会知道手脚被砍断的女子的故事吧，虽然故事背景是中国。还有还有移植内脏的东东，保险诈欺~
这个漫画还蛮写实的咧，裸体的尸体都画得非常detail ~.~ 不过不能被列为hentai啦，你看到那些东西会有反应才奇怪 ==" 除非不正常 zzz.

我要续集！！！（上网慢慢等囖!)

洗礼，看封面就知是恐怖漫画 =="

还真不是普通的病态，为了美貌要杀死自己的孩子，拿了一堆动物挖脑实验，换脑了把孩子的脑踩烂，爱上自己的老师，引诱他！(才四年级咧拜托！) 然后因为老师有妻子就要把妻子赶走,喂她吃蟑螂，用烫斗烫伤她的重要部位!(最kik的就是这个) 互相陷害etc. 然后樱花把同学中岛置之死地，还有那个要挖料的记者 ==" Osoroshii ne~ =="

看到后面，最显就是根麽就没有脑部移植手术！自己想象的！KANASAI!
算了，好采只有五本，没有浪费我太多的时间 ~.~

还有好多anime要看哦~ 怪谈餐馆是个不错的鬼故事大集会，有日本意大利等的鬼故事，像日本妖魔传说中，如果妖怪问你要红纸还是蓝纸，你会回答什么呢？

红纸：全身七窍流血而死。
蓝纸：全身血液被吸光而死 ==“ (因为干了的话是蓝色的呀 :x)

今天不上学~

2010-10-08T11:47:00.000+08:00

标题请用“今天不回家”的音调来念 :X
原因是什么呢？就因昨晚狂啃潋滟游到半夜，一口气把四部全部看完，所以今天无力上学。
话说今天天空下着雨，敲键盘时指尖隐隐作痛，不知是否犯老人风湿？（转移话题中……）
啊啊啊啊蝴蝶的书真是太好看了！而自从有了 xxx 简直是可以无限时地上网，每一年重要考试时我都会疯狂对某样东西上瘾，今年依旧如此！想想我也有一整年没碰她的书，却在最近破功…… T___T

今天，一早起来当然是先赖床，看了三台令昨日最新进展后，再来开数日未曾入内的facebook. 蝶姐魅力之大，连世界最受欢迎之网站都只能让我摆一边晾着。20个friends request ==“ 虽大部分皆不认识之人，不过全数接受，我不挑 zzz.

之后看到了梦寐以求的…… 只可惜干萝卜不适合穿华衣丽裳，不过发发白日梦倒也行 xD
最近有Update的朋友好少，育阩的杂记，Clare的玩，书群的贤妻良母缝衣篇etc, 只可惜我对考试后的日子没多大期待，依旧是忙盲茫，不过会是很充实的过！

却是让我的假期计划拖了再拖……无奈 ==”
最近教了我的宝贝露西一些简单日本话，哈哈我会更加精进的！
脑子里最近有个画画的构想，考完试后再来实践！
sumimase, aishiteru...
对不起，我爱你。

分享挚爱照片 :

艺术的世界真是无止境的大阿~~

你真的不用来我回忆里微笑

2010-10-03T18:03:00.000+08:00

大家好!很久没来了，想当初写部落格是为了记录生活的点滴，可是，有太多太多了，所以变得不会珍惜。

义卖会完了，没有特别的满足感，只是…… 很快就会忘了吧？
今年的我记忆不好，因有太多的事情要记住，连别人的名字都忘得一干二净！==“

忙完了今年，可能明年还要一直继续直到七八月才能真正放下。除了无奈还是无奈，唯一能安慰自己的理由是：能者多劳，自己欺骗自己吧 =="

在考SPM/Trial之前，还有4-5个camp... Law还没有去听，不知几时才能考到license, download不完的歌，追不完的戏，每天要做mask的时间都飞掉，读不完的书，教不完的chemistry，写不完的report，一直要记得和不小心被忘掉的事，没有机会穿的衣服，丢不完的垃圾，背不完，做不完的功课，画不完的画，看不完的小说，截止日期拖了又拖？……

计划永远赶不上变化？
还是我太贪心了？有太多想做的事，时间却飞的老快，我只能不停不停地追。
日历就这么一页一页地翻，只是盲目的承担所有责任。
做个盲忙茫的人，对世界没有太多的评语，只是茫然的，盲者。

不听华语歌的我，最近找到了几首：周杰伦的烟花易冷，金沙的星月神话...
可能是我特别喜欢这种风格把`？
冷调的，穿越时空的。
这类歌曲可是越来越少，他们只是跟随时代唱着情歌，emo的情歌。
而我的emo穿越时代 :)

放一点照片 :

birdieeee~
下个礼拜画展！art exhibition at bintang plaza.
we welcome you! :D

the issue of falling

2010-09-23T22:23:00.000+08:00

i am back to my lovely blog again!
although i promise myself to study even harder for the final exam, but i just can't control myself.
what i want to change about myself.

this saturday there's installation,this Sunday there is this BBQ, next Sunday there will be food fair, The week after food fair there will be an Art Exhibition at Bintang Plaza, i must finish my birdyyy as soon as possible! there are events events and event!, endlessly coming ahead and then on the 20th, it is exam already. after exam, then it is all about CH camp. time flies so fast and it is the end of 2010!~

till then, only 23 months left to 2012.
and i haven't watch the movie yet.

now i start to hate to do design myself, it just... sucks.
perhaps it is because i am lack of inspiration.
so give me some key, key come key come! XD

long time didn't upload photos of myself, this would be one! of my dearest sons and daughters :D

i am proud of you all! :D

hundred plus representing us! :D

took from kit how's blog. when we were young :)
equal amount of trophies! xD

champion of 2008 was we love to be noobz, champion of 2010 is my doggies xD
they get the best team test!
and the best leader!

we did it in one week! yeah! :D

when i say nothing, it means everything :)

2010-09-22T22:43:00.000+08:00

there is more than once that my mind revolves around my dream, and i will think about before i actually die, at any age, what will be the words written and how many people will attend my funeral?

i know i am being too cold sometimes.
i dont like to talk to others about problems.
i am being too busybody.
i ignore.
i ain't special.
i dont contribute much.
so i guess there weren't too many good things i have done?

and,

about my dreams,
i would like to travel around the world, read the books of culture of every country, be a walking dictionary at Japanese, Spanish, French, Dutch... :D
i would like to sail!
i would like to own a limited edition car and watch.
i would like to stand on the stage somedays.
i would like to be famous.
i would like to have more best friends.
i would have a world class wedding xD
i would have received nobel's prize. =="
i would want my parents to live RICH!
well, i have gone too far, my mind isn't even sure about what i am going to do.
and i have always dream about if one day i could be fair! what would my life become?

i would be one of the world greatest artist!
i would like to be a fashion/jewellery/shoes designer.
i am going to be a pro photographer and that sorts of things.
hehee.
but then my ambition is to become rich!
can i do what i like and be rich at the same time?
gah, actually i should sleep now, i have been walking too much today.

the 3 most important competitions throughout my secondary school :
1. wu ren cao 2008
2. wu ren cao 2010, i am proud of you guys!
3. draaama? :D

oh well, some days i am gonna go through metamorphosis and become a butterfly :)

this is random :)
tata, sleeping :D

i never regret on my commitment.

2010-09-10T17:03:00.000+08:00

“我一直以来都是这么相信的，可是，不断地尝试过后，我想，是不是再怎么努力都不会变强了呢？”
“一个没有自信的人是不会因为他的努力而改变的，所以你要相信自己，然后不要放弃。”
“你是一个努力的天才。 :)”

看到这一边，眼泪就很自然地流出，可能是想到了自己吧。
那种痛不再痛入心扉，只是一个不带后悔的微笑。

至少，我为“它”的付出，我从来不会觉得不值得。
因为“它”是我一辈子的坚持。

flag sale, CH camp, training days, annual parade :)

敬
永不放弃。

五人操加油！
我想你们的组名可以放 we love cindy! xD
就像以前一样，然后教着你们的时候，就能想到我们的从前，很开心的过往，只是都已不再，只能在你们身上看到之前的影子。是有那么一点伤感，却好过永远不再。
只剩一天了，gambateh yo! ^^

希望你翻个大筋斗，哈哈！

ranting :)

2010-09-08T23:11:00.001+08:00

最近真的是好忙好忙，忙着自己不擅长的事，忙着自己已经忘了曾经有多热爱的事，每一天都是很理所当然地过，也很自然地把别人忘记。没时间去想，更不会特地去在乎，对于离开的人，哈哈，算了吧，可从来没去想念。

我和norman开始了我们第一个一千片的拼图，那就像是一个梦想的蓝图，我们需要慢慢地去建立，互相辅助，而旅途中，休息是为了走更长远的路/不要走路？ :)

最近anime有空就追得紧，naruto, bleach, one piece, 原本有打算看reborn,不过真的没有时间啦。哈哈哈，我不觉得自己是个哈日族/哈韩族，可是喜欢的偶像是韩国人，taeyang from bigbang! ，兴趣是日本动漫，所以我应该算是半个了吧？

乘此介绍一个有点旧可是非常有创意的video, 其实最好的创意来自生活 :)
hibi no neiro - SOUR

还有还有，绝对不能忘记我的太阳 :DD
i'll be there - Taeyang

he is so sexaaaay at all time ^^
他的爱好竟然是gardening! 完美老公啦哈哈！

2010-09-04T19:33:00.001+08:00

有多久没有拥抱
想念的笑容
不知心和心的距离隔了多少个太平洋
不知还要多久我们才能再次拥抱 :)
每次都有想哭的冲动
可无由的忙碌塞住了泪腺
多少次的笑声背后就有多少滴的眼泪
只可惜我不能承认我的软弱
而去恳求你的拥抱。

Blaaa.

2010-08-09T21:36:00.000+08:00

We need to keep on trying in life. You never know what is coming towards you. What doesn't kill you make you stronger. New challenge, new life. You know actually getting things originated from great people is so much easier, however, to say good
morning to revival is so much harder. Who say I can't do it?

I will prove to you, I will never be a loser.

Nothing can ever beat me. And no one is going to hunt me down again.
Sore throat sore muscle. Coughing and still alive. :)

congratulations you survive again.
Certificate of Survival.

You are forever my number 3.

finally freedom,

2010-08-01T15:53:00.000+08:00

can i change my name to xiindiie sim?

well i have made my decision, put down my defensive mode and is going to be the original me haha!
thanks for spending your time to listen, at least there's one who really understand me.
finally... :)

well, i accept the fact you say about me, i am nuts/ crap or whatever you wanna say,
i am stubborn, i hold strongly to my principle.
and about the reason you mention to me?
it's wrong, i never tell you so and maybe there's only one who know the real story.

坚持做自己真的是很幼稚，可至少我幼稚的开心。
now i can have more time. hooray! :D

i am escaping? haha well read the below :
'i need no anyone to judge, because even if you care, i don't care.'
your definition doesn't matter to me.
and i don't need to explain much on that too.
flyyy away :D

FINALLYFREEDOM <3
i feel my heart as light as if i am going to fly :)
saranghae mr.n :)

Realization?

2010-07-26T22:04:00.000+08:00

i realize that when i dun blog, my mood will be damn shitty.
i realize when i have things i want i wont appreciate it.
i realize that i have this addiction towards pretty things, style and fashion.
i am vain.
i am a money lover.
i realize my dad loves me lot,

i am sorry i never appreciate everything i have around, i dun really respect most of the people, and from time to time i am glad to know myself better.
and i realize how much i need a person to share, to share my real feelings and thinking.
but it ain't easy?

dun blame me if that you are being a really great friend of mine, but in fact, i feel lonely, much more lonely compared to the noises, the laughters around.

things to do :

2010-07-19T20:52:00.003+08:00

1. study harder
2. lower the confidence i have in myself
3. live for myself
4. be on myself.

rebelious is my name. so what?
不是尽力而是一定要做到，不然我就杀了你，你知道我一向说到做到。

my port?

2010-07-13T22:02:00.000+08:00

今天可能暂时不continue day 2... 是写给他的，写得太短会被他抱怨，哈哈 :D 可是今天要读biology，所以推迟一天吧！:D

这篇是在过了这么久后，我又从新想起我的避风港。刚刚学习画画的时候，从来没有想过我在这方面有天分 XD 曾经有人告诉我：“你没有天分的，放弃吧！”，而事实再一次证明你才是不能做到的那个人。至少在你失败的项目里头，我接近了它们，而也没有被人讨厌，那应该是我唯一的成就感吧。

太久了，很久很久没又去上课了，又是在这种时候我才想起那种很单纯的快乐。心情不好的时候，下笔就很粗，心情更糟因为讨厌丑的东西 :x 所以会尽量的让自己心情好，忙里偷闲，脑子里想的不是什么事情还没有做完，而是放空。有时候就思考老师的冷笑话 Cx

只有在这时候快乐和满足感是很纯粹的，第一次去的时候，那是不知第几次的受伤，在那里我从新疗伤，继续展翅飞翔。我总是在最疲惫的时候回到那里，现在有时时候该回去了吧。画功应该退步了，不知老师还会不会欢迎我呢？毕竟我做了这么久不负责任没有交代的人。可以随时出走，可以随时归来。

我是一个对自己的失败有优越感的人。跌倒了再多次依然会爬起来的，不过，最近真的没有什么有挑战性的事情呢… 给我一个全新的challenge吧，organizing events 之类的，可惜就是没人要给我这个机会 == 算了吧，当急是，找回自己的热情。

还有，准备我的复仇大计 :P

To my best friend, day 1

2010-07-12T22:21:00.001+08:00

i have a best friend, seriously i mean it. 'BEST FRIEND' sounds like something only existed during childhood but i do have it now :)

she is a girl, she knows all my histories, she listens to me all the time, 她知道我的坚强和脆弱，她知道真正的我，她知道我笑容背后的眼泪，她知道我的坚持，知道我的主见，知道我的自尊，知道我时而的喜欢寂寞。她了解我的梦想，知道我喜欢什么，不喜欢什么，知道我的善变，知道我偶尔的怀旧，清楚我的矛盾，明白我的品味，知道我说到做到，还有那与生俱来的属于我的骄傲。

她总是和我听着同样的歌，喜欢我喜欢的书，同样的random，是一个无论何时我都能和她畅谈的朋友。

myself, happy friendship dae :)

i have really a lot of best friends before, i am happy to have them too. however, since time flows, we rarely talk and we can hardly spend time together. although we still try to spend time with each others, things are different. i am no longer the old Cindy, you are no longer the girl i have known for more than years. The wall between us is hard to break again, we can no longer enjoy our conversations like before.

but, no matter what, i treasure these friendships and the time we have ever spent, or going to spend together. those days left me whole bunch of memories :) the time you shared your secrets and i shared mine, the jokes never get old..... the laughter, the happy times we have.

谢谢你们做我生命中的过客，虽然我不能陪你们从这个尽头走到另一个尽头。

有人曾经说过，我是一个很奇怪，可以不用别人陪伴的人。

可是，我确实需要，只是我也已经习惯分离。

只能偷偷地用眼泪和你珍重再见。

这篇写给很多人… :)

thank you for being my best friends... you need not to understand all about me, from the head to the toe.

只要我们曾经真心相对，我们就是bfffs... :D

The 30 Day Letter Challenge;

2010-07-11T21:37:00.001+08:00

accidentally come across this at tumblr. maybe nice to do them? this will last one month! :O
i hope i will be consistent this time? :)
and the next will be the 30 days drawing challenge! that will be so much harder since i am not really good at drawing using computer :x and my drawing skills as well drop since i have not been practising for a long time...

Day 1 - Your Best Friend
Day 2 -Your Crush
Day 3 - Your parents
Day 4 - Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 -Your dreams
Day 6 - A stranger
Day 7 -Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 - Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 - Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 - Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to
Day 11 - A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 - The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 - Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 - Someone you've drifted away from
Day 15 - The person you miss the most
Day 16 - Someone that's not in your state/country
Day 17 - Someone from your childhood
Day 18 - The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 - Someone that pesters your mind, good or bad
Day 20 -The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 - Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 - Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 - A person that caused you to change
Day 24 - The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 - The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 - The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 - The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 -Someone that changed your life
Day 29 - The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 - Your reflection in the mirror

me with the trophy ^^

annual parade CHRC get second! i am so happy ^^ hehehe... since this will be our last annual paradee.... and i really hate to stand under the sun x___X but i love our spirit! and we have the luck! thank god ^^
after this, i will need to start my whitening project and try to slim down again! haha!

Words by Anne Sexton

2010-07-10T19:45:00.001+08:00

Be careful of words,
even the miraculous ones.
For the miraculous ones we do our best,
sometimes they swarm like insects
and leave not a sting but a kiss.
They can be good as fingers.
They can be trusty as the rock
you stick your bottom on.
But they can be both daisies and bruises.

Yet I am in love with words.
They are doves falling out of the ceiling.
They are six holy oranges sitting in my lap.
They are the trees, the legs of summer,
and the sun, its passionate face.

Yet often they fail me.
I have so much I want to say,
so many stories, images, proverbs, etc.
But the words aren’t good enough,
the wrong ones kiss me.
Sometimes I fly like an eagle
but with the wings of a wren.

But I try to take care
and be gentle to them.
Words and eggs must be handled with care.
Once broken they are impossible
things to repair.

currently listening to utada hikaru. she is this amazing singer that controls my heart.
dealing with chemistry grrr.
somedays later i hope i will have an enjoyable retirement, having almost all the best things in life.
but first of all, i have to survive all these harsh time.
life is hard at the front stage, isn't it?

have enough of nothinng

2010-07-10T00:03:00.000+08:00

我想我准备好了，面对事实，没所谓公不公平，属于你的就会是你的。
回想起年头定下的目标，快要接近了，只是就像溺水的人般，在竭尽力气的最后一刻，捉摸不着的救援。

看着黑夜的雨，一个人等着车，听着iyaz的bulletproof.
突然间就醒悟了。

my favourite DANBO <3

i can smile again :)

我是情绪的主人，可是却控制不了眼泪。

我可以和很多人说说笑笑，可是不论认识多久，他们都不会了解真正的我。

别人会认为我很open,可是我却总是有所保留。

他们可能认为我很开朗，事实是我是带着矛盾感的强装笑颜。

许多许多人都离开部落格的世界了，可是我依然守护这一个我唯一的宣泄口。

我在你们面前可能不说真话，可是我至少在这里让你们可以窥探一角。

很久很久那种畅谈的感觉已经消失，都是因为它的存在吧？

其实我很怀旧。

其实我很emotional。

其实我了解。

其实我无能为力。

其实我看不开。

其实不是我不关心，只是我不想去打扰你想要的单人行。

其实我想找个了解我的人。

其实，我觉得我喜欢寂寞。

我又想开始再度流浪。

了解我的人都离开了。

无法伤心亦无法开心。

我已习惯人生的分离。

谢谢你的那曾经在乎。

ouuuting :)

2010-07-09T23:36:00.000+08:00

今天晚上的mcdonald还真热闹 xD
i laugh till my face ache and my stomach too x__X
and i screamed without feeling any sore throat :x
BＯBIAN 啦， RC的要常常用丹田音，哈哈哈！班上最吵的都是RC的，响彻云霄的嗓音 XD
剩下最后的半年呆在CHRC,annual parade 加油！

尖叫声，食物战争…
很久很久了，难得地能够抽空聚会，联络旧时的好友 ;p
全部人都回家过后，我和菜贱宜去starbucks, her first try, my first try at miri. :x ssssh! xD
signature hot chocolate, 对那个招待员非常抱歉，太紧张 :x
拍照留念 :x

our cup of tea lol~

sheryl drinking~ x)

me ;P the cup is biggger than my face =="

edit ><"

"不同的人追求不同的生活。"

"那你追求什么生活？"

"我还不清楚，我只知道，现在的生活不是我追求的。"

do you know?

2010-07-05T19:57:00.000+08:00

do you know how much i am obsessed with pretty things? :)
i could always spot flaw in things. i want it to be perfect, of my original.
so, tell me what career should i go for?
architecture, graphic design, fashion design/ or about the beauty of science?
eg. environmental science, biotechnology, geophysics?

and actually being a science site student, it can't feed my hunger for pretty things.
therefore i hunt them all down, all kinds of beauty, girls, fashion, music, photos, beautiful words....
this is my addiction. ;D

the love for beauty never fades. <3
and so as the love for him :)

最近的雨下得很大，不停地下。
雨打在身上不痛。
而我，很喜欢雨天 :)

do you know? :)

quoted :

"APOLOGIZING DOES NOT ALWAYS MEAN THAT YOU ARE WRONG AND THE OTHER PERSON IS RIGHT. IT JUST MEANS THAT YOU VALUE YOUR RELATIONSHIP MORE THAN YOUR EGO."

confessions?

2010-07-03T11:48:00.000+08:00

it is time to really think, think about what i really want and what i want myself to be.
a fallen star? or a diamond?

with the failures all above, i allow my soul to leave my body, she is homeless. she is stuck in reality and dream.
and finally there's someone who manage to catch it back and i am back,back to listening songs that i used to, to get the feelings all back, fresh in my memories. Aurora, Lydia, 你们是我的星光，思念是一种病 :)

i know i am like a gypsy, homeless, like a vagabond.

逃避的也够久了吧，是时候停止流浪，然后做回那位勇敢追求梦想的自己，就像monkey D. Luffy, 就像曾经对自己的执著。每次听着思念是一种病的时候，就像漂浮在水中，我的思念是一种病。

它的离开带不走我的天堂。去死吧。

其实我很久没告诉任何人我的心事，不过有谁能看出我的心情吗？那一个他记得我的坏情绪，这一个他体谅我的坏情绪，却没有任何一个他了解我的坏情绪。哈哈，还是算了吧，谁叫我是水瓶山羊座？矛盾的让人难以了解。那时刚好在5A6的布告栏上看到了那篇文章，跟我一样生日，同样拥有同样问题的另一个我，真的很想很想知道他/她是谁，他会了解我的心情吗？

有一天，我一定要到希腊去，希腊的爱琴海是我的憧憬…
去那个神话的国家。

from now on,

quoted :

Sometimes, you just need someone to talk to. Someone who is not only willing to be there for you, but understands you & what you’re going through. Someone who you out down your guards & reveal your imperfections. Someone who will never judge you or sway away even from the mistakes you make. Someone who doesn’t need words to prove but you both know that the person will always be there. Someone who loves you, truly for who you are. One of the greatest gifts in life is having the chance to find someone like that in your life.

my recent babes.

2010-07-02T21:34:00.001+08:00

my recent babes which delight my dull wardrobe :P

VOIR's watch from Suria Sabah, this is indeed my best asset ever! ♥

new necklace from FOS. cheapp :))

the green bead which made me buy it lols xD

hotHOT HAWT red belt! ♥

geek spectacles! :O

i am on a shopping spree ever since then x) but too bad, it is time to cut cost :(
xiindiie, STOP SHOPPING! Dx

Taeeeyaang

2010-06-29T21:55:00.001+08:00

baby you know i am waiting for you. <3
1/7/2010!!
your smile is my sunshine.

dream is destinyy

2010-06-27T21:26:00.000+08:00

we all just live in a typical draama and everything is made up and designed to be in that way.
congratulations that you make a main actor/actress in my life and yet it is just temporary i know nothing lasts forever,
somehow i know i am just too naive to be blinded and to believe in forever and forget to look at the future.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?

I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now). how far can we go? i never know and i dun have the need to. i play the drama and the director is still behind the scene. :) waiting for ya,waiting for ya to change my life.

i have a dream, and the dream is my destiny but how many people could i share it with? and who will ever be with me to reach the dream?

Tell Me GoodBye

2010-06-27T21:07:00.000+08:00

Big Bang – Tell Me GoodBye Lyrics

Letting you go… (here’s somebody…) 2x
Yo I got this, yeah still thinking about this thing a lot, you got me shaken up
(Please tell me there’s a way)
And it got my head just spinnin’ round round round round
(Please tell me there’s a way)
Don’t wanna take a fall It’s best to break it up
It’s gonna be better for you, move on
(Please tell me there’s a way)
Uh huh we break it break it
Or thought we make it make it
And now we cover it up

Girl I swear I won’t even for a second
cause you any pain in order to protect you
there’s already no other way. Baby our love itself brings us pain
And I got nothing, nothing to say
Tell me goodbye, tell me goodbye
those hands that embraced me
Tell me goodbye, tell me goodbye
seem to be letting go, if forgetting me will give you freedom Baby
Tell me goodbye, tell me goodbye

Girl you know when you lose your smile, I will place the blame on myself
Those words, and even the light, I will lose sight of everything else

Baby the moment our lips part this time
I’ll never find better, better than you

Repeat CHORUS

Yo and it’s so, so. Sad it just ain’t happening
Wish it could be better. Sorry to scrapping
But I just can’t let ya. Shouldn’t be less than happy
I said look at me. I couldn’t live with myself seeing you lacking
The things you deserve. Baby you was a part?
Must believe that it hurts that lead this world
I feel the aching through my body,
it just takes a bigger part of me to be let you go.
I wish that one soul

your voice, pained and fading away, away…
erased completely by the wind, stay, stay…
All these things, I can’t take it, those tears, don’t cry for me
for your sake I’ll never look back again

Repeat CHORUS

what i want to promote is more than a type of lifestyle.

2010-06-27T10:12:00.000+08:00

I WRITE ENGLISH MORE OFTEN THAN CHINESE NOW.
slowly is it i am giving up my passion over chinese literature writing? it was like such a long long time ago that i was addicted over novel writing, just last year back then and i now, have changed.
i guess behind this there's a reason, that with more friends i met, the more exposure i receive, the more unconvenient the language has became. most of the people think that, "well, i am a chinese, i can talk in chinese is enough, i have no need to learn how to write or read the language, english is the most dominant language now although china is taking over, but, chinese learn english too! "

nah, i am going more reader friendly by using english, nevertheless, i never give up on chinese too, no matter how hard it is to score A+ in SPM, no matter how much i don't like the rating system, no matter how much i HATE ___ ( fill in the blank ), it is still the language i am born to MASTER! ( LOLs yeah~ )

using english is more than a type of lifestyle now, i guess, for us. but the most popular language among malaysian is still MANGLISH. ( equals to MANDARIN-ENGLISH/ MALAYSIAN-ENGLISH) it is a major part in our life. we like to lor, li, lalala, meh meh? AHAHA watever then ;P

some days, i am going to master ENGLISH and made it mine ;P and some days later, I OWN YOU JAPANESE! ( the language laaa..)

somehow i feel glad that i am born in malaysia, that it eventually made me a language genius. FML, x)

11things

2010-06-26T23:24:00.000+08:00

aaaa, here i come to clear the spider webs over here ;)
about the recent me :

1. i have a TUMBLR! for a long time already xD but i have not really updated it until today haha! now i realize everyone have a tumblr and then i join the crowd ;P

click here for it. tell me good bye

2. i have TWITTER! and ignore this line cause twitter is something created out of my boredom :p, again ><" inactive on twitter.

3.i update this blog because i realize there are people stalking on me. HAHAHA! biancaaa, gotcha' ;P

4. i am soooo caught by this song, tell me good bye by bigbang!! i can never have enough of TAEYANG ever since wedding dress!!

5. my first match of FIFA is Japan vs Denmark, 3:1! honda in two balls! woot!!! ASIAN ROCKS!!

6. i neglect all my homework nehnehneh x)) this weekend spend more than half on sleeeeeping!

7. my idols are those who can get my body moving automatically ;p eg. BIG BANG! mariah careey?

8. halloween theme ahead ;p have started imagining the PROM NIGHT for Form5. could it be HALLOWEEN??

9. i am a rules breaker ;DD lol, i am told by my heart to do what i like ;)

10. NEW RESTAURANT ALERT! kenp's garden which is just located opposite my house x) i love the extremely big slide, the lights, the decorations and the food! <3 their lamb chop! dayuuum! may update the photos later <3 <3

11. TENTH MONTHS! baby you know i will love you forever and never ever saying goodbye :) <3

lastly, i declare the end of this post with taeyang's photo!

SEXAAAAAY!!

http://www.ygbigbang.com/

recovering...

2010-06-16T22:17:00.000+08:00

food, an umbrella against the rain of sadness, smile, pretty things, meaningful words, fluffy hug, encouraging music.... and YOU who are reading this, are all i need now. i need to smile and get out of those emotional words. WHO AM I? I AM XIINDIIE SIM! the one and only special girl in the world ;DD two more days to go!! i can sureely do it! i need to recover, and who cares all the damn fools around the world!!?? EFFF THEM <3! HAHA! ;D

FML

2010-06-16T21:58:00.001+08:00

i am sorry i am getting pretty rude, but this is exactly how i feel. simplest definition, one word explains it all.
i wonder why i lose all my passions towards everything, feeling damn bad, BAAAD. i can fake a smile, i can don't take the challenge, i can make myself nobody, i can ignore everything but i don't do that. i can lose everything but my pride, it is what makes me me. i am speechless, since words never work out. i go on shopping because i am not satisfied, i wonder what is the hunger in me wants. happiness?memories? i don't know. friends are the one to share but i find no one, because no one understands. no one. am not stressed out yet, get and a sleep, get a life but yea,still, FUCK IT. and who ever will read this?

i seriously don't feel good. :( FML.

beach photos taking.

2010-06-05T10:53:00.000+08:00

we walked to the lutong beach and along the way, i took a few photos which i have feeling towards? x.x
the swamp.

house! XD one of the scene mode in my camera ;DD

i especially love this one! NO EDIT~~~

the colour is nice, ain't it? ;D

thanks to my partner of the day :))

and the photographer is me myself! XD

will be on hiatus for a certain time, went off to kota kinabalu! ;D
hence, upcoming post : crocodile farm, kuching trip and sabah trip!
stay tune~ ;D

2010-06-02T19:40:00.000+08:00

i really... speechless, maybe i will update other things another time.

i am really depressed, DOWN TO HELL.

i feel heavy.

and it is killing me.

of shopping, colours and more happiness.

2010-05-30T19:12:00.000+08:00

PADINI! <3

colourful stuffs bought from kuching ;P HEART SHAPED BOXERS! - not XDD

socks that are going to brighten up my day ;D

all are from THE FACE SHOP, semua half price, really worth it <3

ini pun half price, hw lucky am i in the shopping world, again, COLOURS!

guess what, 3 for RM10! from miri ;D

dooodolls! second handphone chain under my collection ;D

so, you can actually see colours make my day ;D

那是…

2010-05-28T22:03:00.000+08:00

那是一种不再执著于执着的分离，
那是一种不再执著于紧握的放手，
不知不觉地把感情寄托于记忆，
让曾经的美好能够光着脚不受束缚地在回忆里跳舞。

我坚持自己的不坚持，
那是随风飘逝的樱花，
那是那晚的星夜，
路途可以很长，可以很短，
需要记得的只是曾经美好的那段。

很久没写的华文，不错也是没有退步。猫城之旅将在不久后才写，明天又是一个忙碌的一天。加油！:)

我是那晚埃及的舞者，跳着曼妙的舞步，只为夜晚的你，而跳。

dinner and food ;D

2010-05-23T11:47:00.000+08:00

dinner time :DD this is one of the branches at miri :) jus opened !
so me and my family went over there to have our dinner. hong kong style, small place :/

shots of my family members and ah kang, see, he is posing... and i wanna vomit, uek :x

now it my brother, he is staring at me and i am not scared XP

wooot let's see behind the scene, she is eating cherry :PP

nice effect of macro! my drink, moonlightlady <3 full of salt... wondering why x.x maybe there is people accidentally left it but it does taste nice ;D

mum's order ;D colourful&wonderful :x

ya and you know i love this XD my dear norman and i~
i have serious seriously black eye circle :(

and i am acting cute by putting on this ribbon ><"

after these, went to 100yen, then go home, u know how much this means to me?
good night :)

off to kuching later and gotta take lots of lots of photo~! hopefully my camera can effort it. KUA MEH TEAM FTW!!~~

imm not taking exam.

2010-05-19T22:07:00.001+08:00

well natalie hii asked about my blog title today, yes i have found my prince in love, but there's nobody, apparently to save me from my despair. i named my blog 'cinderella's nightmare' because it just seems the hope is never going to lit up, and the prince will never turn up for rescue... and i write what i feel, here and only here.

when life is down, you just need an umbrella :)

about being independent, my family support on my physical needs, but i know i need to be mentally strong, as i believe in nothing.. and i learn how not be dependent on others, because, i know nobody will be there for us forever, and getting myself to stand still is just so much easier. i hate myself, the her that only knew how to rant and cry and when losing the pillar of her life, she felt so weak, she felt defeated.

i hate to lose, i prefer a fight that even if i lose i wont feel so bad. no pain no gain.
woman warrior?

after so long, i find a reason in writing, i hope there's someone out there who read and understand. i did it for you . it is just that i hope you can know what am i thinking when i can't just tell you these things, face to face.

Mr.N,

you just need to believe in yourself and get over all the obstacles,
stay unflinchingly,
never swerves your determination.

i am worrying about you... this world has set a limit for you, you are special and i believe you can do it. whenever you told me to be strong, to be confident, say that to yourself too. :) i feel lonely at this period, but i know you are fighting for your pride too, and i shall be the brave girl who fights against loneliness. <3

boy, you know i care.

i will be there, just hold my hand, i will be there.

modified from sean kingston - hold my hand.

the night, another night.

2010-05-16T00:09:00.003+08:00

went out for buffet last night, not really enjoying it and so regret i wasted my time there and my money :(
on the way going, i was trying out this scene mode in my camera 'starry sky', it is like catching the light movements :D

random movement :D

at traffic light :D

in car? :D

after eating i get extremely bored and too sleepy to continue :O, so i took photos of myself... actually a lot but i am lazy to put them all here ><"

the me with spec, i dun like it :( but my vision is so poor and wearing contact lens is so troublesome :(

i love that cap :DD

HAHAHA, seriously i am not wearing anything in my eyes o.o

回到了两年前的那个地方，

那是一个没有星星的夜晚。

有的是他人不属于我的喧闹，

我看着他的身影想哭却佯装坚强。

现在的我不需要面对别人的背影，

虽然寂寞依然属于我，可是，还有这个可是，

我很幸运也很幸福，

因为他，不同的他。

或许只有在任由思绪自由放纵，

我才能正视自己的感觉，

正视你的存在，

珍惜你在我身边的每一分每一秒。

you are my water guy :)

beautiful boys,

all over the world,

i can be chasing but my time will be wasting,

they got nothing on you,babe.

they are nothing compare to you.

8th. --- 25/4

2010-05-10T00:35:00.000+08:00

our eighth month, i am feeling so happy because yeah, you are with me and we are together for 8 months! :D
time flies really fast, still remember that time we were still struggling within PMR, and now we are in form4! being in a life full with ups and downs, heaps and bounds. no matter what, we have passed through this 8 months!
i am someone who do not really believe in 'FOREVER' but i hope us will be the exclusion to the curse.

celebration at pizza hut, lovely socks for you :D and i am so happy to see you shy shy :PP
ehehehe. <3 you are more than cute! :D

soxworld, it is good to walk :D

the colour is warm and hope it can protect your lovely feet all along the way

picture of the day :D love it so much ^^

we bought our new pencil case together, they are both apple green ^^ and my new nail polish from him, YELLOW! <3 i am so into RED and YELLOW now :D

also as well posting shirt bought by sis from hong kong and my art work todayy :PP

a girl, it is painted with all kind of colours mixing with pink.

etc, the hair, brown with pink. shirt, red,white and pink. o.O

i don't like pink, but i like the emotion of the girl

that's why i choose to draw her :P

HAPPY HAPPY DAY! :D
hehehehe :P 1 year anniversary ahead! <3 <3 <3
you are the best and i will never ever ever give up on you!

mysweetestaddiction. <3

mother's day

2010-05-09T00:16:00.003+08:00

Dear mum,

you are special, because you are my mum, you raised me up against all those hardships, you support my dreams, my passion, you are my number one super woman, and yeah :) nobody is as great as you... and i love you, sorry for the words i can't say out that easily, sorry for that i do not usually show my caring about you, and not accompanying you even during mother's day. i am sorry and i really love you... happy mother's day :)

hope you will enjoy what i give to you.

my never-ending love and my promise that i will be the proud daughter of yours.

Forever loves, your daughter,

xiindiie.

those days under the sun

2010-05-08T21:31:00.000+08:00

post about my schedules :

rehearsal for sport day,

marching competition,

sport day from the day till evening,

out under the sun ,

try to be BBQ-ed and yet success,

now i am still a half-cooked human grill with extremely black hands,

sports day again,

headache and go back to rest ,

i guess it is because of the weather :( .

after struggling in bed, i decide to join the miri city run because i actually feel better after sleeping. i am really in bad luck today, nevertheless, i enjoyed it at last :D i made it babe! i made it from mcc padang till parkson xD hooray for me, boohoo!

NO PHOTOS SORRY BABE :D

a night at SOHO, celebrating for mother's day! love you much mum^^
maybe that's all for today, pitchas later <33, and today brenda just commented on my toe nails,

HEY I DUN SEE WHY I CANT POLISH IT RED,

it's hot and sexy just like me! XPP

P.S i am lazy to go anywhere by tomorrow, reports ahead! bibubibu blaaaaaaaa....

i'm fine.

2010-05-07T20:43:00.000+08:00

i am more than feeling sick. because i am being realistic and see the world with an angle that others cant accept. but i am so sorry that i can sense and smell it and see it and feel it and i just know i am correct because i am born to deal with tat kind of things.

seriously, i never think that i am a good people, because behind all those unrevealed surfaces, you never know what they are thinking or doing or talking behind you. you just ain't know? isn't it?

and i have this sudden feeling that, 我从来没有拥有过停留在某个时空的友谊, it is just being alone, and yet not feeling miserable. :)

because i don't trust, sincerely trust no one but myself.

HAHAHA edited :DD

2010-05-01T22:43:00.002+08:00

i feel like i am a super star, LOL thanks to the people who invent photos editing program, the people who invent fake eye lashes, enhanced contact lens and what else?

plastic surgery, so the dream everyone is pretty will become real!
but i need not that, i just need braces and money, and more money, LOL :D

:(

2010-05-01T16:58:00.000+08:00

why am i a messy mixture of everything?

it just seems hard to be me sometimes.

my BM essay get B+ today hooray xD

2010-04-24T23:15:00.002+08:00

just back from HQ after appreciation dinner, nothing much to talk about it, just that it is hard to smile in front of certain people. well , whatever, it is not important because i never would let others to ruin my day again :D

random photo during experiment, took when teacher was not looking at me :DD
i love chemistry! <33

beautifuuly done :PP

i once said that i would never want to design any shirt anymore but again, i came out with another one, waiting for teacher to approve then will start finding factory and sell, lol. the third shirt in a year, hahaha, and somehow i wonder why would i ever think to study architecture when i can't even draw a line straight? and it needs too much thinking anyway, should i go for graphic design? ok fine whatever it is not time to think about it. am i like showing off at my blog? HAHAH it is my blog and the property of mine, if you dun like it, you have a choice.

according to the book i have just bought, it suggested me that i should wear red nail polish and i was like wtf, red is so not my color, but hey i try it on my nails. however, it is not school holiday yet so i removed it. dude, i have never took such artistic photo! hahaha anyway red is not my color so i just polish my toe nails and hope nobody notices it.

i talked more and more craps day by day, anyway, tata and see you! hope likim&wanling can faster upload photos, i wanna see my big head, HAHA :PP
tomorrow is going out, i wanna watch movies and wanna spend time together with you,you,you <3<3
and perhaps is going to buy red socks! :DD ( i am desperate of luck )

in lovedd with : USHER- OMG

and it is just getting easier for me to let go of something,
who cares?

EARTHDAY :)

2010-04-22T21:18:00.000+08:00

love our earth as we love ourselves,

EARTH DAY :DD

got to speak in front 2000+ people, my heart almost puke out, LOL :D
i am happy today, because the shirt i design, almost reach the amount of 200 SOLD ;)) !
did 2 experiment today, and what did my classmates do when it is earth day?

change the compressor of the air con and make our class cooler. XDDD

random randomness :D
update another day ^^

let's see the effect of FREE eye mask :D

2010-04-19T21:24:00.000+08:00

ops, sorry for my fuglyness, it was cause by HISTORY which kills my beauty :X

trying to save myself with eye mask.......

let's see what it comes out after half hour of rest :D

relaxing times ^^

somemore after washing my hair and remove the stupidness of my look,

taaalaaa :D

it has just got some effects, i look better now, isn't it? :P

I AM SO IN LOVE WITH TOKIO HOTEL!!!

addicted to Through the Monsoon.

Are you lonely?

2010-04-18T18:51:00.000+08:00

yes, i have always felt lonely.

everyone in this world i bet no one has never felt lonely,

and i can always beat that monster, and sometimes i even enjoy being alone.

but not this time.

and at this moment, i feel lost.

because you are not around, i missed your voice,your everything :(

dealing with history,

oh right, i can do it, i can i can, no matter what others say about me.

and i expect myself to.

healthy teeth = healthy smile

2010-04-17T09:40:00.001+08:00

creative advertisement! :D

people always claim that i have big teeth, but i would rather like to say i have healthy teeth, hence i have my healthy big smile :DDD

this weekend is AGAIN not going to be a relaxing one.
Notes :

finish doing the presentation
done my maths exercise and get prepared for the test on tuesday
done my history revision
FACIAL! <33
gonna go and check my teeth, feel like having braces. ~~being look like a total nerd at first and look stunning the later.~~

what to do? i am so in love with www.weheartit.com! check it out when you are free! :DDD

currently listening : eenie meenie - Sean Kingston ft, Justin Bieber!

i spent RM0.50 of my credit to get to know what this song is by using TrackID.

i feel so stupid, ain't i?

from http://my365secrets.blogspot.com/

~~i feel so too.~~

i can almost see the light coming

2010-04-15T20:35:00.000+08:00

“We can spend our lives letting the world tell us who we are. Sane or insane. Saints or sex addicts. Heroes or victims. Letting history tell us how good or bad we are. Letting our past decide our future. Or we can decide for ourselves. And maybe it’s our job to invent something better.”

— Choke, by Chuck Palahniuk

you can decide everything on yourself, or you may choose to let others decide your life.

现实生活中，我们很难不低头，不论是在学业上，还是时间上，作出选择之时，亦让自已的命运任人宰割，不过，我还是找到了，学会了自得其乐这个道理。

不管在什么时候，不管时间有多紧迫，休息一会，做些自己喜欢的事情，不是在浪费时间。偶尔，我会喜欢上来写些东西，把不满的情绪丢在这个垃圾桶里，我身上的包袱又更轻了些。听我喜欢的音乐，哈哈对某些人来说是噪音 >< 可能是我不喜欢寂寞的感觉吧？喜欢热闹一些……

对了，最近很少有时间看电影，我超级超级想看day breaker! 海贼王，我会尽量跟上的！

不管现在的状况有多差，美好的将来还是会到来吧？

所以，今天我的biology考得很烂，下一次，会更好！ :P

traaaalaaaa... drum rolls**

offline ^^

嘲讽

2010-04-14T17:48:00.001+08:00

对不起，如果拥有人格就是骄傲，那我宁愿保有我的人格和尊严。

How would you react if you are me?

我真是庆幸我看清了它们的真面目。不管再怎么被践踏，一个在泥土里的钻石依然拥有钻石的价值。

i know i am a spoil spot, but i am proud to be one.

i will update soon in chinese

2010-04-04T21:24:00.000+08:00

i promise i will update again, and i will SURELY keep my promise.
upcoming posts, concert in chinese! uhhuh it is already one week after concert :O
i am fed up with the burdens on me!!
why should i ever study that much? and having so much tuition?
well i want to get good results! but does that all worth it?

i dun really know.
i'd have enough. once i start thinking that i have finished all things, another pops out and shows me a teasing face. how can i ever live being slaved? slaved under time and responsibilty, and
serving 'you', your majesty, is just my pleasure?

currently listening: Ke$ha - Take if off.
gonna get faded, i am not designated.

here i come again.

2010-03-23T21:50:00.001+08:00

i am back! not for long but just a while due to my passion to blog burns in my heart :)

holiday is over... owww :( and that time i don't really have the time to update, for the end of my holiday cause i was busy rushing homework HAHA :D

what i planned to do in this holiday didn't come real but phew, i have finished reading 7 books! but fyi they are all in chinese, which is the-language-i-am-born-to-deal-with. and i planned to study but hell, i forgot i have to go to school everyday except sunday and sunday supposed to be the day to relax!

*but i was doing homework and tuitioning. *yawn*

one good thing about sunday? :) i am back to art!! one of my favourite things to do on earth. i know i just can't stop it because it is another thing that i-am-born-to-deal-with :P well may not be the most perfect one or best one, but at least the good one. xPPP wonder how thick is my face? :O

*maybe 10cm? o.O

skip about those parts, school days. time is creeping so slowly when it is time to get my test papers. luckily, so far no red failing grades, but i can't bear to see my physics paper. it is like wtf only few of us can get 30+over 60 and i am very sure i am not included. :( anyway i am satisfied with my chemistry paper except for doing two essay questions and 2 marks are deducted. it hurts ouch! however i learn that we must read instructions carefully to avoid such painful experience. :D

concert is coming soon! the fourth concert i have watched ever since in chung hua, and there's only one more year left for me to get involved. huh hope till that time i have no regret.

please support

CHUNGHUA concert from 26th-28th march!

i am going to perform too so MUST support us! love ya all baby :)

this week i am going to be the proud owner of 3 t shirts with school logo. haha wtf. if those money are spent at beautiful clothes i wonder how much nice clothes i am going to have now. by the way, really, someday i should show off my collections of camp t shirts, activity t shirts, school t shirts and etc. etc. -.-

i didn't go to any camp this holiday ( regretful but glad voice ) . so maybe i am just tired and fed up with all the busy schedules. whatever.

shopping can cause addiction.

i wanna be a shopaholic! if i have that money.

soon going to bankrupt.

how sad?

and i just love faded photos. <33

i can act but i cant speak english.

2010-03-17T21:35:00.003+08:00

kill the monster!

it is the same time again when i arrived home and finally got some time to creep over this blog. i shall keep my promise hahah that's why. my nail color is corroded by turpentin wtf gonna remove it soon. :)

today when i woke up and looked in the mirror, whoa, i looked fugly lol and scary with eye bags and my eyes were small! and i had some random pimples popping out tat time. dude i hate when i slept late or my engine is used too much! when my alarm rang i still woke up and got prepared. it is named under the word responsibility although i hate it, seriously, I HATE IT.

went to school, do some props, went to parkson,watched alice in the wonderland, bought contact lens with sheryl, taught her to wear it, shop for some bags and sheryl bought one, norman demanded me not to buy any bags/clothes/etc anymore due to the reason i have too many, add maths tuition, indices is killing me, english tuition, i want to read books rather than doing,back home, blogging, sleep.

hoorayeah! i finish typing my day! ~~it would be great to die, but~~ happy moments only happen when you're alive!i have my period, wtf.
and when sheryl is learning to wear her contact lens, i reminisce about my first time, i tried so hard hahha. my elder sister is back to singapore and i guess i am going to miss her? not. lol no la she will be back sooon and i look forward to it. i love my dinner which is known as kuching style laksa too! it is like my blog is made up of my random craps but whatever, who ask you to read my blog? well definitely NOT ME :)

actually i have more to write but my brain tells me to stop, she is much more clever than me so i must listen to her. and hell my teacher told me my element is fire and i should not eat that much chicken, and chicken is my life. chicken chicken chicken! red is suitable for me and it is crap! i have never like red in my life and only my phone is red! shalalalaa :D should i change my blog to red so that i feel nice? i just know if my teacher mark my blog post, the errors are many so they are going to be red! my heart is red. <3333

my love is red for you :)

quoted:

“You can do anything, you lucky bastard, you’re alive! What’s a little pain compared to that?”

Richard Jenkins, Six Feet Under